I'm Not For You

No More Penance...

On Tina and Heidi's date

-Heidi... Heidi... Heidi... - Tina had been trying to get Heidi out of the car for at least fifteen minutes, but she couldn't move her from where she had left off. As soon as they arrived at the restaurant parking lot, the dancer got off excited but when she saw that Heidi was not following her, she went to the driver's door and opened it gently. Heidi was still, staring forward and her knuckles were white from the force with which she grabbed the handlebars of the car

- Heidi... I love the place you chose, it's my favorite, let's go - she encouraged her

Heidi shook her head in negative - I can't Tina, I can't do it. I'm going to ruin it and you won't even want to be my friend - she told her.

-Yes you can Heidi... let's go - she tried to grab her hand but Heidi rejected her

-I can't - she shook her head again - I'm sorry, I can't do it. I prefer that we go home and be angry with me for a couple of days but then you can talk to me. If we do this I'm sure I'll ruin everything and then you won't want to see me anymore and I won't be able to stand that Tina. Please don't force me to do it, I can't lose you - she said everything without looking at her.

Tina stared at Heidi for a few minutes. Then she sighed and closed the driver's door to turn the car around so she could return to her seat.

Heidi watched the Dancer walk resigned. She assumed that Tina had gotten tired of dealing with her and took one of her hands to the contact to start the car's engine just as her companion occupied the place on her right.

-Can you turn off the engine, please? - the tall dancer asked softly.

-But Tina... I... I thought... I thought we were going to leave and...

-Turn off the engine - she ordered this time in such a way that Heidi had no choice but to listen to her

-And give me the keys,- she added.

Heidi turned her eyes and listened. Resigned, she rested her head on the steering wheel after letting out a sigh - Tina I...

-I know you're afraid Heidi - Tina said interrupting what was surely going to be another excuse for Heidi's fear

-I'm not sure...-

-Yes you are - it left no room for doubt - And you have to stop lying to me, I always know when you do it, I know you too much and I don't like it for you to do it, it makes me feel silly - it was true, no one knew her better than Tina, not even Charlotte reached such a point.

-Sorry, I never wanted you to feel that way - she sincerely apologized.

Tina stroked Heidi's hair - I know. But you don't have to be ashamed of being afraid, I... I am too - she confessed bowing her head and hiding her hand back

Heidi immediately raised her face and looked at her in surprise - Are you afraid? But Tina you are never afraid - it was already known, among the group of friends, that Tina was the bravest of all. She was never afraid to face anything or anyone.

-Heidi... - Tina sighed and confronted her again - I'm going to tell you something and I don't want you to be afraid of what I'm going to tell you anymore. On the contrary, I want you to see it as if I were telling you something that only one person knows - Heidi was going to ask who it was but it was obvious that Tina was talking about Charlotte. Anyway, she nodded, giving way to what was coming.

Tina took a breath - I've always been in love with you Heidi - A declaration of love was not usual to start a first date, but nothing in the dancer was, so it was fine for her. Tina raised her hand when she saw that Heidi's mouth was going to open to say something