But Who's Counting?

Chapter Forty-Four: "Mommy's not happy."

you thought it was over?

Day 10 without Alexander Parker.

He's not coming back.

He's coming back.

He's not coming back.

He is coming back.

He is not coming back.

It's been ten days since I last saw Alex was about two hours after I gave birth to our three kids, Jaisiah, Jalen, and Jasmine.

Ten days since they've seen their father.

Ten days since Maya saw her father.

Ten days since anybody could even get in contact with him.

I don't know what happened.

One minute he was talking about how much he was grateful for me and how much he loved me and then the next, he was leaving. My nurse hadn't seen him since a little after the triplets were born, she said.

After Alex said he'd be right back, he left and just didn't answer his phone. All of Chances calls have been going straight to voicemail, as well as Andrew and Anthony. Mama Parker, Sarah, even attempted to call him and it didn't work. Nobody could get ahold of him. It went straight to voicemail and he never replied. They didn't get listened to because his voicemail was now full. He didn't show up to work today according to Chance and wasn't at his apartment when he checked. He wasn't at our apartment because he doesn't have a key. He hasn't even stopped by to knock. Chance and Quincy had to bring Maya home while my parents came to pick me up along with three car seats for the triplets. When we got back here, Alex hadn't been by.

All of his items are still here, basically untouched. They look the exact same as the way he left that morning.

I don't know where he could be. If he wasn't at his old apartment, not here, not at his moms house, it literally left me no other option.

I don't know what I did.

Maybe it wasn't something I did, maybe it was because we had one more kid than expected.

Either way, him leaving just confirmed all my fears at the same time.

This was my first time having children. My first time being pregnant. I don't know what to do. Especially when I have three newborns and a almost-four-year-old. I only have two hands, yet, everyone demands attention.

If one is hungry, I can only pray the other two are sleep.

I can't do this without him.

I love him so much and he just left me.

Our relationship meant nothing to him. I should have known this was coming. Leave it to me to get pregnant with triplets and get left by their father.

The only reason I'm barely making it through now is because of my Mother, Father, Quincy, Chance, and Anthony. They have basically moved in with me, helping every chance they get. My mother had been changing diapers, nonstop. Quincy and Anthony both assist with keeping Maya preoccupied and happy, which was hard. With her questioning every morning where Alex was and why he left, they had to find ways to divert the subject before they found a way to get in contact with him. She wasn't stupid, she obviously knew something was wrong, which is why she was so cranky and upset.

Yesterday, she wouldn't eat. Quincy has to convince her of all the things that would happen if she didn't. When she did eat, she didn't eat more then three bites.

She misses her father.

Day one, she didn't really notice. Day two, she became aware of it but didn't question it. She probably thought he was at work. Day three, she asked where he was. Chance didn't have a answer so he asked if she wanted to go to Dave and Busters. Day four, she was holding Jasmine, who started to cry and Maya said 'it's okay, you miss daddy. So do I.' By day five, she realized something was seriously going on and she started to cry herself to sleep. Day seven, she would cry, sleep, eat, and cry. She took almost ten naps throughout the course of the day. She wouldn't laugh or smile anymore. She barely talked. Day eight she spent the day inside of Alex and I's bed, holding her younger siblings and helping feed them. Day nine, she wouldn't eat. Quincy told her all the things that could happen if she didn't eat and then went out and got her favorite from subway, only for her to take a couple of bites out of it.