A Spaceman

Chapter 21--Making it too far

"So, about what we were talking about yesterday," I say, getting in line behind Lt Col Ziegfeld, again. Tom has leave today, I just had the cadets do PT this morning, after flying with me yesterday they were quite pleased just to lift weights and do sit ups while I ran. Now I've released them to go and find nourishment at the mess of their choosing; they are to meet me in the library rooms later.

"What?" she asks, cautiously.

"Tess was---asking me about her mum, yesterday---do women have some sort of collective conscious knowing what to bother men with?" I ask, annoyed.

"No," she laughs, "We don't."

"Hmm, you'd say that if you do, if Tom starts talking about it I'll know all of you and your chromosomes are holding out on me," I say, accusingly.

"Was Tess all right this morning? I saw there was a report of a murder or possible suicide of one of the cadets. Was it anyone she knew?" she asks, frowning.

"Yes, as it happens, it was a boy she knew. He's in her morning class, we were going by his dorm so I could walk the both of them there, when we got there, the IA was there already," I say, smoothly.

"That's awful, how did she take it?" she asks.

"Like me," I say, "She was fine."

"You still might want to make sure she's not in shock," she says.

"No, this pretty much confirmed she's as much of a sociopath as I am," I say, picking up my packets of milk. "Now, back to my original question—about what we were talking about yesterday---"

"Yes, you'd never gotten to a question with that," she points out.

"What do I tell her?" I ask.

"Whom? Tess or her mother?" she asks.

"Either one. Tess, what do I say, yes I could've contacted your mum but thing is, I'm a selfish bastard so I didn't want to---or her mum, hello you carried my child don't you feel honored?" I ask, annoyed she's not being any help.

"Yes, okay, definitely neither of those things---so, um, to Tess, just say that since she asked you looked into it. And to her mum, well, you just say that since Tess asked you, you contacted her," she says.

"Both of them are going to be angry with me for not before this," I say. And then I lose them both. Mostly Tess. I cannot lose my Tess. Finally that little boy soon to be boyfriend when puberty bowls them over is out of my way and now this.

"You be honest, say you didn't think of it because you wanted Tess to yourself because you didn't want to lose her because she's the only family you have," she says.

"I wouldn't forgive somebody that," I say.

"Thankfully, Titus, everyone is not you," she says, "Now, what are you going to do?"
"I've got her contact information, if it's still good. I'm going to try to look her up a bit first, you know, see if she's the sort of person I'd want Tess around, you never know," I say, defensively. Yes, this is an extended excuse for me to back out.

"That's a good idea," she says, "Would you like someone to come with you, when you do meet her?"

"I wouldn't ask you to do that," I say.

"No, I'm not volunteering but I think Major Tom would be a nice buffer," she says.

"How so?" I ask.

"If anyone can come close to understanding you that woman does," she says.

"I don't need somebody to explain me," I say.