A Spaceman

Chapter 23--Y stands for 'you'...

Things are going very well for us now. We have missiles pointed at their cities so they won't touch us. This is STEP one. Step one. The very first step. Like climbing a stair case. A stair case we get to push somebody down. Or maybe leading to the top of a cliff. Good analogy. We like analogies.

Apparently the people who used to work here, whatever they did, they drank a lot. Quinn used to work for them. But drinking is much better for him. So we do. Ice cold liquor that stings our throat. We have a very good plan. And drinking is helping us not think. Because thinking about the plan is infuriating because it can't be done quick enough. but at least the Space Forces won't bother us. we quit responding to their messages a long, long time ago. We don't need to talk to them. We have new friends. New friends who will help us with our plan. We all drink together.

We are slumped at a table, with our four friends, drinking from the bottles we found. We changed because we did not like the clothes we were wearing. And we found guns and a com system. We are holding our very extra favorite gun, and are trying to use the com system. We have to talk to our mortal enemy.

"Hey, Titus," we say, our voice is slurring. We remember it does that when we drink this much. This is the second time we've ever been drunk in our life.

"Quinn?" he asks, his voice quick and cold like always.

"No, he's not hear, we can call back later when he is---," we begin to hang up but he cuts us off.

"NO, no, don't, don't hang up, it's fine," he says.

"What did you want to talk to him about?" we ask.

"Nothing, you're fine, I'll talk to you," he says.

"Why?" we ask.

"Why what?" he asks.

"Why did you call?" we ask.

"I didn't, you called me Qu---you—guys called me," he says, "Surely, one of you must have wanted to speak to me."

"Oh, yes, we did," we say, leaning back, "We wanted to tell you we are going to destroy you."

"Yes, that will be interesting, do try," he says, "You're currently barricaded in a base while the top minds in the universe are trying to blow you up. How is that coup thing going for you, by the way?"

"Really well, because we aren't alone, we have friends, we want you to meet our friends," we say, holding out the com, "This is Spot, say hello to Spot."

Spot makes a bubbly noise at the com, which we think is some sort of insult.

"You can't---you can't name them," Titus says, annoyed.

"Ah---we already have. Say hello to Rex, Chance, and Lucky," we say, holding out the com to our other three friends.

"That's insulting, Quinn, you can't name them---he can't name you--," Titus says then he says something in Isylgyn which meets with more sputtering noises.

"They don't like you," we say, putting the com back in our ear.

"You can't name them. They already have names, you can't name them," he says, darkly, "That's demeaning."

"Rex, Spot, Lucky, and Chance like their names, they like us," we say, "We are going to over throw you, us and them we are going to destroy you."

"That's really nice, I hope that doesn't work out for you," he says.

"We didn't like the clothes they put us in, they were all scratchy and so we found new ones," we say, looking down at our shirt and cargo pants. It is a t-shirt you would wear under SBUs but we are just wearing it. except it seemed plain so we painted letters on it. "We wrote on our shirt, and you know what? Spot was sad he didn't have a shirt so we made him one." He had looked so pathetic lowering his little eyes when he saw we had new clothes and he didn't. So, we found extras, cut holes in them for tentacles, and made little shirts for him and Rex and Lucky and Chance. They are adorable in their little clothes. We should have dressed them up a long time ago.