A Spaceman

Chapter 32--The power of voodoo

"Soren, do you want to come with us, when we go and meet the ship?"

Damn it to hell now I can't act like I want to go!!!

I shake my head, cursing inwardly.

"I thought you might, and I didn't want to keep you back just because---well you know. I thought it might not be fair to you. Most of the others your age are going," Alexander says, kindly. He has found me in my bunk waiting to ask to go and join them. My mother has just had a fierce argument with Alexander over going. He doesn't want her to and he doesn't even know she's pregnant, which she has no intention of telling him. She wants to go because she suspects our father will be there and she doesn't want anything to happen to Alexander.

"No, I'll stay," I say. Now because he's asked me I have to pretend not to want to go and sneak off and go anyway, when if he'd refused to let me go I could have properly snuck off after begging him to let me God he's infuriating he's so nice sometimes.

"Okay, I'll be back soon as I can," he says, giving me a hug before closing the curtain, "Love you."

"Love you too," I call after him.

"I thought you wanted to go?" Donovan asks, crawling out from under the messy quilts.

"Will you keep your voice down?" I hiss, "He can't know that."

"Why?"

"'Cause it's more fun to sneak off than be invited that's why," I say, "Now shush and be good while we're gone."

"Will you be back soon?" he asks, his sweet little face pathetic.

"Maybe---I'll try," I said, realizing I will probably never see him again in this life, "Will you take care of Cinder till I get back?" I hand him the little lizard, who chirps goodbye to me. We've already talked about where I'm going.

"I'll miss you," he says.

"I'll miss you too, love you buddy," I say, hugging him tightly.

"Love you too," he says.

**

Now I have to sneak out without Alexander noticing. Damn him, not letting me go when he has no reason not to let me go on principle when he got hurt just as badly as I did when we stormed the Pandemonium . I'm not letting him go alone especially considering I'm sure Soren is going even though he says he's not I'll bet he is. I know him, he would sneak off and go well fine I'll go too.

**

They'll never let us go with but we're so BORED being here by ourselves so we will dress up like them even though we are their supreme leader and we will go with because it would be no fun not to and this way we might get to kill Titus Card and that is what we especially want to do.

**

My minions tend to get upset if I go to battle they think they have to protect me so I'll disguise myself as one of the brain washed Spacemen I love disguises I love THEM, I'm stupendous in THEM, all the others not knowing. Not knowing who I am or what I am. And the surprise always waiting.

**

Surely Alexander won't notice me in among the others. I love doing this, I can't help it. it's fun being in disguise. It's fun not being me. I've often imagined what it must be like not to be me. it looks very boring. And it seems it, when people don't think I'm me then they tend not to notice me. but I'm still me inside and thinking all the time. I've got five different stories for who I am and why they don't recognize me and I wish somebody would ask me or question me so I could use one but they don't so I can't. I sigh. Why does everything have to be so easy?