A Spaceman

Chapter 21--The Rise of Spot

"Let me know if you need anything," I say, shaking Major Tom's hand one last time. Endless paperwork and signatures later, I am ready to leave Milton SFB, finally. Being discharged doesn't even seem real.

"We will, good luck," she says, smiling grimly.

"Could I come back and visit Starr?" I ask.

"I doubt it," she says.

"Let me know, though, what becomes of him, eventually?" I ask.

"I will, personally," she says, and I believe her.

"Thanks, I guess this is it then," I say, shouldering my bag which has my few belongings I'm allowed to keep.

"You've got the information for the job we're putting you in?" she asks, walking with me towards the gates.

"Yes, yes, I start tomorrow, lovely, thanks," I say.

"Yes, Tess and Clarisse have been put in the same job, so you'll see them. About Clarisse, she's an emancipated adult so we can't escort her anyplace but she's just a kid, would you see that she gets where she's going all right?" she asks, "I can't make you—obviously—"

"You don't have to. of course I'll see she's all right," I say, "Where is she?"

"Already outside," she says, "I should get back in there."

"Right," I say, "Bye."

**

"I'm doing wonderful, I want to go," I say, giving a nurse my blood pressure for the eight time this morning not that I've been counting. "I want to see my kid. I want to get out of here."
"Right," the nurse says, walking out of the room.

I flop back on the bed and glance at the paperwork that they've given me. All stuff for some job I have to work at. Bleh. I'm already bored. And I have to live with my mother. If I could just work at a good job for a bit I could save up enough to get us a flat of our own and him a dog like he'd wanted and---and nothing. he was in her custody now and so was I. boring. nothing for me to plan. Stop that. lots to do. Do well at work. Do really well and use this to save money to get a nice place for the two of you. and you still have to make sure Soren eats right and learns his school work and lessons and all.

"Tess?" a nurse opens the door. Soren runs into my open arms. I pick him up immediately, hugging his little boney body tightly. His dark stiff hair is greasy and needs washing. He needs washing, mucky little thing. I cry as I hug him, closing my eyes and inhaling the smell of my flesh and blood.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," I say, kissing his cheek. Then I glance up. There are a couple of cops and a woman standing there. she looks a few years older than my dad. Greying hair. Still pretty. Dark eyes like mine.

"Hello," I say, not letting go of Soren for an instant. I extend a hand though, as he wraps his arms around me and clings to my side like a monkey. I always carry him like this. When you've got no place safe to set your kid down you carry them a lot.

"Hello, my name is Shannon---Lutz," she says, smiling kindly, like she likes looking at me. She seems kind.

"You can call me Tess, or Tecla, I don't know what they've told you but you can call me anything you like, really, I don't care and you've got as much right to name me as the bastard who did the first time," I say.

"Um, okay," she looks surprised at my bitterness towards my name in general, "They haven't, ah told me anything."

"Right, that sounds like the great and powerful THEM," I say, glowering at the cops and nurses on principle, "Thanks for minding Soren for me, last night. I really appreciate it."