A Spaceman

Chapter 28--Complicated

"Good Afternoon sir---what did you do when you had that complete sense of foreboding like the universe was going to come to an end--- how did you get over it, knowing it was true?" I ask, floating into Thron's office and closing the door behind me.

"Greeting of the day before random weird request, I guess we're improving---I'm sorry I don't understand the question," he says, frowning.

"When I was in training, and you were convinced the apocalypse was going to happen or whatever—"

"You knew about that?"

"Everybody knew about that," I say.

"Did Titus know?" he asks, upset.

"You fell at his feet sobbing and begging him to save us, sir," I say, wincing a little.

"Did I? And I'm still alive? Strange, well I could be wrong---in answer to your question I became an alcoholic," he says.

"Yeah other than that," I say.

"What, you knew that too?" he asks.

"Everybody knew that, sir," I say.

"How? You were cadets," he says frowning.

"We could smell it on you," I say, "And you slurred your words. And your eyes were bloodshot all the time. And you drank out of a hipflask. On duty. A lot of little things, really."

"Did Leavitt know?" he asks.

"I imagine so, sir," I say.

"Why?" he asks.

"He's the one who mentioned it to me," I say.

"Okay I'm a failure as a human being I can live with that---go on with the question," he says.

"Other than becoming an alcoholic, which clearly didn't help---what did you do?" I ask.

"After the break down I had to be on medication for a time, then I got off it," he says.

"And you're better?" I ask, "After the medication?"

"No, exactly the same," he says, shrugging, "Sorry. Why what visions of the apocalypse are you having?"

"None, I just get this sense of dread---like if I do something---something terrible will happen," I say, shaking my head, "I can't explain it."

"Nor could I. Nobody would believe me. Then half the base blew up. funny that," he says, dryly.

"That was random," I admit, holding onto the wall to keep in one spot.

"Random? It was bizarre is what it was---pure idle curiosity does this have anything to do with anything Major Card is directly or indirectly involved in?" he asks.

"Yeah, of course it does, he's always involved in everything----Ziggy accused me of still being in love with him---"

"You and Ziegfeld I had no idea---"

"I know Kip tells you everything," I say, flatly.

"Okay. So young Ziegfeld accused you of still being in love with Card? Are you?" he asks.

"No," I say, "I'm not I was sixteen, I'm done with him, can't I have a relationship, and not have everybody assume that I'm a whore? And why does everyone assume I care so much for him?"

"I didn't think you did, for the record, I just assumed you had sex with him to find out if he was actually human or if he has battery or computer board built into him somewhere---"