A Spaceman

Chapter 12--Into the impenetrable Jungle

"Will she fly again?" Lizzie asks, as I inspect our poor Interloper

"I doubt it. I mean, with proper parts sure I could fix her, but I haven't got the tools, and we sure as hell aren't getting the proper parts here," I say, shrugging.

"So what do we do?" she asks, hugging herself, "It'll be dark out soon."

"We try to find a road. There are a decent number of roads through here. Just pretend to be drifters, then hitch our way to town, either buy visas or fake our way through customs to get home," I say.

"What about me?" she asks, "What if they do checks at the gates?"

"Then," I say, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, she's shaking. "I shoot the bastards, all right?"

(okay)

"No one is gonna take you from me. I promise."

She leans against me.

"I promise," I say, wishing she would believe it. More than that I wish I would. I have no fucking clue how I'm going to get her home safe if they are doing checks, and more than likely, I'll be dead and she'll be caught.

"Can we just stay here till the morning?" she asks.

"Sure," I say.

**

"We can find Russian people!"

"And give them Bibles!"

"And tell them about how Jesus lived in America!"

"And that he came to bring them toys!"

"To all the bad children!" 

"Then they'll live forever and so will we!"

"Because we did good things!"

**

So my dad flew a mission. And got shot down. That happens a lot. Like a lot, to him. And he's legitimately always fine. Like every single time he hardly ever gets a mark on him. Only once was he burned by acid and that feels like it was his fault for doing something stupid. Quinn says it was totally his fault that he was probably looking at something and about tripped over an Isylgyn by the trajectory of it. But anyway.

My plan was, since he was going to be in Space, then I could just go to the crisis center since he was safely in orbit, and he would find out I was gone when he got back.

But now, I can't do that.

I can't do that because, damn him, if he's actually dead, then I wouldn't actually have to go the crisis center and hide. I could go to my mum. And I sort of want to do that. Or at least try it. her message seemed sad. It said she missed me every day. And she loved me. It would be nice to be really loved by somebody. And I could at least meet her. And let her meet my baby. Maybe she could tell me how to take care of it. I really don't know what you're supposed to do with babies. I've never even held one before. She could help me maybe. I wouldn't have to live with her. But maybe she could help me get a job or knew of someone hiring or something.

It would just be sort of nice.

But I am not going to if it would mean my dad finding me. I am not going to do that to her. I really don't want her to have to meet him. She sounded nice and that would be really mean to do to someone. I mean I'm related to him I understand him, but to someone who's never met him before he's a lot. Like a lot. And he would be mad. And I've never seen him really and truly angry but it can't be good.