A Spaceman

Chapter 23--Turn of a friendly_____

"When you said 'get a look at her', I thought you were being figurative," I moan, I'm sitting on a rooftop with my head in my hands, next to my-----lunatic?----ex? Friend? Person I unfortunately know? Yeah, kind of that last one.

"I'm rarely figurative---what you didn't expect me to go and meet this person without doing research?" the person I unfortunately know asks; he's still looking through his night vision goggles at the street below. I'm sure of it.

"No, I expected you to research, by yourself, on your tablet," I moan, "Not stalk her."

"I'm not stalking her---"

"Standing on a rooftop dressed in black looking through binoculars is literally the definition of stalking---"

"It's not stalking, we have a child together," he reasons.

"That is what makes it that much creepier," I sigh. I knew it. I knew better than agreeing to do something with him however ostensibly nice and decent.

"It is for Tess's own good, I'm making sure that this person is decent enough for her to meet," he says.

"Well, what have you found out?" I ask.

"I thought you weren't interested."

"I'll want to know our trip was productive when the police are questioning us and this poor woman is pressing charges," I say.

"Nothing poor about her, she has a functioning IQ of 280," he says.

"Oh, is that good?" I ask. I genuinely don't know I don't care about those things if I need somebody fantastically clever I just go to Titus.

"Good? It's off the charts," he says, disgustedly, "They match prospective parents by IQ scores, she was the only female in the program with a score matching mine."

"Then I'm sure you'll get along, so why don't we meet her instead of stalking her?" I ask.

"Because I want to make sure it isn't some sort of mistake in the test," he says, "Which it certainly looks like---"

"First off: would you really not let Tess meet her if she wasn't as clever as you---"

"Yes."

"Okay that's really wrong, so---secondly: how do you plan on finding out if she isn't clever by staring at her from a rooftop?" I growl, finally taking my head out of my hands to argue with him properly.

"Because she is going on a date with a high-functioning sociopath who I'm 78 percent sure is a cannibal," he says, calmly.

"Okay that isn't very smart---wait how on Kepler can you possibly tell---from way up here, she is dating a sociopathic cannibal?" I ask.

"Oh that's easy, he's my older brother," he says.

"What!?" I ask, "I thought your brothers were blithering idiots or dead or something."

"They are the former, the latter-----I wish," he sighs.

"I recognize you would know he's sociopathic but what makes you think he's a cannibal?" I ask.

"I tried to brain wash him into becoming one----don't look at me like that Major Tom I was six, that sort of thing sounds like a good idea when you're six----I don't know if it worked," he says, looking away from the binoculars to see me glaring at him.

"No, that sort of thing does not sound like a good idea when you're six or ever," I cry.
"It did, I wanted him and my other horrible brothers to eat each other in a massive murder suicide feast," he says, with a little sigh.