A Spaceman

Chapter 29--Ten years later

I wake up to the cold morning light streaming in the window. I do not shift lest I wake him. Now that I am awake I cannot sleep even another minute even though that is all there is to do now since I cannot move. He is curled up with his face against my chest, like a child almost, such strong arms wrapped so loosely around me. I do not want to sleep. And I cannot bear to lie here looking at him like this.

I reach out and run my hand over his soft, fuzzy hair, shaved short and just starting to grow out. He moves, but only to tighten his arms around me and press deeper against my warm skin. I can feel the muscles underneath his sweaty skin move as he tightens his hold on me.

"I'm not going to disappear," I whisper, kissing the top of his head. even his sweat tastes sweet as I inhale that particular scent of him.

"You might," he says, sliding up to kiss my lips. I let him have me, lying back and enjoying the sensation of his strong body against mine.

He leans back from the long kiss, to study me in the light like a specimen, such cold blue eyes.

"What are you thinking?" I ask.

"Good morning, Major Tom," Titus says, kissing me again.

"Say my name," I say, smiling.

"Nicole," he says, kissing me again and then lying back down next to me. He plays his hand on my shoulder and neck, nearly as muscular as his own. "But always Major Tom."

"Why?" I ask.

"I can't possible explain it."

"You? At a loss for words?"

"Words you would comprehend," he says, shrugging. He sits up and swings his bare legs over the side of the bed.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I ask. He is still looking at me as he walks across the room. he picks up his shirt and puts that on. The door to the control room is open. I look through. Soren's body is still lying on the floor. Another set of blue eyes stare at me, except his are dead to the world.

"I feel ancient, yet you're exactly the same," he says, snapping me back to him. I wonder if he saw me looking at his son's body. discarded and ignored like trash. If he does he says nothing.

"I can't be the same as I was when we were seventeen," I say, smiling and standing up, taking my eyes from the boy's corpse. Soren brought me here, his job is done, and he is dead. What does it all matter now?

"You are," he says, taking me in his arms, "You're exactly as I remembered you. and I don't ever want that to change."

"It won't," I whisper, kissing him again.

**

Ahem. A few days earlier.

**

I roll over in bed. it's just past midnight, I can tell by the position of the moons. I am not tired, my brain will not sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a busy day. besides that I am overly discontent and I know it. I hate the way I feel but I can't help the way I feel.

The door to my room creaks open, and then I feel a warm little body land in the bed next to me. it works its way up until it snuggles up beside me. I rub the golden curls in the dark, rolling back over.

"When are you gonna tell mum you're afraid of the dark?" I ask.

"When are you gonna start talking to people?" he asks, snuggling tightly next to me.

"I don't know," I say closing my eyes again. I pretend I don't like him there because it's good for him. But I do like the company sometimes in these long nights of endless thought.