A Spaceman

Chapter 7--The beginning of the end

It is dawn when I reach the shack. It is, as I had been told, in the middle of a grove of trees, well off the main road. Soren is awake and hungry. I have given him nearly the last of the food, and now he is standing complacently by my side, although I can tell by the way his eyes are narrowed that he is annoyed. Like me, like my father, he becomes irritable when the world cannot entertain him more than the pleasures of his own mind, and bored with the world, he often wishes to be left to the devices of his own mind. This is one of those times, the past few days have been, since I have needed him to walk with me or let me carry him quietly, and we couldn't play games or anything that would entertain the small boy.

My mind was the same way, before I had him. I was easily bored, easily distracted, nothing ever really seemed to hold my attention long enough because it was all boring. I had not loved anything in the world. Sex had been an experiment, a voyage into the unknown, a test of my emotions.

But then I'd realized I was pregnant. That had changed things. Suddenly there was somebody, or going to be somebody, dependent upon me, who needed me to think of and take care of everything.

This surviving for the both of us, this captured my full attention. To most it would have been frightening, a strain, stressful. This is the peak of mental energy, but then in its own way, soothing.

Now I stand in front of the shack, my hand clutching Soren's small one protectively. There are no lights on, nothing to show that the inhabitant is awake. I suddenly realize that my legs are awfully tired. I have been walking all day and all night, with little food and water. I want to sink to the ground but I do not dare because I fear I would never get up . Soren leans against my leg, but amicably does not move or attempt to run about. He's very good like that, always staying with me.

"Who goes there?" a man's voice says from behind us. we turn around quickly, me putting my hands over Soren as though to protect him. The man coming up the path behind us is in a motorized chair, he has no legs, or rather what is left of the legs are swollen, blistered nubs around the hip, clearly visible past the cargo shorts he is wearing. There are sweat marks underneath his armpits, dark and ugly on the white short sleeved shirt he is wearing. He has thick yellow tinted glasses and white hair that is slicked back from his face. In one hand he holds a gun.

"Tecla Raines, I came about the job. I was told you needed an engineer. This is my son, Soren," I say, putting my hands on Soren's shoulders.

"You look like a kid," he says, putting the gun back in his holster, "Sorry to startle you. I don't like people sneaking about. Not in this line of work."

"Right. Sorry," I say. Better to act stupid. Men are comfortable around women who are stupid. Not too stupid because I do need the job.

"Come on in," he says, steering up to the door and typing in a code to get in, "Didn't expect you to bring a kid. Didn't expect a kid."

"I was training at the Space Academy, to be an engineer," I say, as I enter the dimly lit shack. It is rather large, now that we are in. In the light that shines through the boarded up windows, I can see tables and tables of contraband electronics and hardware. With the heavy environmental taxes on all electronics, something about not destroying another planet, pirated and repaired devices are a hot trade. Of course, they are illegal, but I do not care all that much about laws.

"You quit cause you had the baby?" he asks, going over to a table. Soren reaches out to touch something but I pull him back. "He can look around if he wants. Not like he's going to break anything that ain't already broken."

"Thank you," I say, releasing Soren's hand. He goes over to a table and stares quietly at the contents, without touching.

"Quiet little thing," he says.