A Spaceman

Chapter 1--Situation not normal

Oh it's you again.

Why do you come about when I'm busy and not when I'm bored? Or are you bored and then you find me here or you know I'm not bored and you're not bored either so you come here? No matter you're here now. back to visit your old friends in the Cygenus galaxy. You've missed us I suppose.

We haven't missed you but then I'm quite sure I'm the only one who knows you exist and I don't miss people so there's that.

Anyway nice to have you back. ish. It's not like you provide intelligent conversation or do anything especially clever you're just there existing. That must get boring for you. No wonder you like us.

Well I don't like us at the moment. Oh I like me I always quite like me. but everyone else can get trying at times. Yes even the people I generally tolerate.

I am in a rotten mood. Well that would follow. I'm just back from leave. I'm not going to be on a Suicide Squadron this rotation. So I'm in bloody staff meetings with that bastion of humanity Thorn. But I want to do this. I do. I'm on a planetside rotation because Tess will be in OTS this fall and I want to be about for her graduation and in case she needs me in general. Not that she needs me. My daughter is entirely perfect, exactly like me. She doesn't need anyone.

But even so. I want to be there for her graduation. none of my family came to mine. Not that it mattered I hate them. But they didn't. And half the base did blow up and burn down which was dangerous to my person. And I'd hate for anything to happen to her. So I feel it's best I'm around. Remind me of that every twenty minutes or however often I feel like beating my head against a wall will you? No you won't you're useless. I'll remind myself I'm that clever. But anyway that's why I'm staying planetside and just doing cargo runs and other boring boring boring things for a little while. Once Tess is in training and back on the Ulysses then. Then. I can fly again and go back to the North Rim. They'll let me do it in a heartbeat they always need volunteers. And once Tess is old enough or once I get sick of messing with the humans and Isylgyns by telling them to attack each other at amusing intervals, then, then I will take Tess with me and we'll rule the stars together. A very lovely plan and very entertaining to me. Just to endure. All this. Until then.

"Despite our deteriorating relations with New Russia we have agreed to run extra patrols because Isylgyns have successfully landed twice in their territory. And any Isylgyns on Kepler is a threat to our safety even if they are in New Russia so---point is---we are going to increase our patrols in space over New Russia in order to prevent any----Colonel Card why is your foot in Lt. Starr's mouth?" Commander Thorn literally drops the tablet he was reading off of to address me.

"Because Col Tom told us to stop touching each other's faces with our hands because having kissed both of us it's upsetting," I explain, very calmly, not removing my foot from Quinn's mouth because I was not told to.

"One staff meeting, one staff meeting---" Tom mutters, staring up at the sky and looking like she's praying. Seven people get up to leave I don't know why.

"Why were you putting your hands on each other's faces?" Thorn asks, very slowly. He wouldn't be engaging in conversation with me because of that time I convinced him I'm the Antichrist but he's extremely drunk right now.

"Because I didn't want him to speak," I explain. It makes sense.

"What didn't you want him to--------take your foot out of his mouth now------no, wait, we have to back, up, kissed both of them?" Thorn asks, "Col. Tom?"

"Thank you," Quinn says, spitting into his hand as I reluctantly remove my foot from his mouth and sit normally again. 

"I feel like it's sexual harassment to ask that," Tom says, not even looking up.