[Various x F! Reader]
You've made it this far, aren't you glad? Aren't you happy with your choices? You did the right thing, correct?
Then how come you can't even stand to look at yourself, hm?
FINAL BOOK TO "REFUGE" - READ FIRST TWO BOOKS TO UNDERS...
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𝗘𝗻𝗲𝗺𝘆 𝗗𝗼𝘄𝗻
↢ ❦ ↣
Eyes.
Eyes, eyes, eyes.
You can't catch a break anymore, not after basically half the gang of Rokuhara listening to Kakucho's suspicions he has about you. The dude was your enemy and you don't even know what you did for him to personally hate you - except being in opposing gangs from the past.
You don't think you've even exchanged a word with him back when the Toman vs Tenjiku era was going on. He made things more complicated around here, sparing you glances every now and then even though all you've been doing is sitting down.
You silently groan to yourself while pinching the bridge of your nose, shutting your eyes in annoyance.
"Somethin' bothering you?"
A motor-like sigh escapes your lips almost immediately after the question was asked. "men"
Julian laughs and leans into the couch, kicking his feet up on the glass table. "Since when did that bother you?" he pats your back.
"Since the second I was born" You've been over this many times in the past. The number of girls actually involved in your life don't even reach the double digits, but the number of guys easily reach over it.
Father, brother, friends, gangs - all consisting of guys. Toman at one point did have girls, but you never personally knew any of them. Now you don't even see a girl in any of the new gangs - other than you and Senju. Maybe that was your problem, too many guys in your life.
"I'm just waiting for the day this all ends and I can stop pretending" You mumble, leaning into the couch as well but keeping the bottom of your shoes glued to the floor. "Feel like these assholes are bringing out the worst in me" you arch your head over the back cushions.
The boy hums and raises the glass of regular coke to his lips, turning his head the other way to observe his surroundings. He was fortunate enough no one has caught onto him despite being recommended by you. It just seems guys get along faster than girls who pretend/act like guys. However, that didn't mean he couldn't feel threatened as well.
You guys were on the first floor, right where South was being loud and obnoxious like always. It was just another night, the gang hanging out while sharing drinks - some alcoholic and some not. You two both settled on regular cokes because jesus, after hearing your encounter with the Haitani's, Julian did not want to see you like that.
Though, as he turns his head back over to you, he realizes it might not be like that anymore. "There ain't no worst in ya" he assures, lowering his glass. "If anything, you look better than the last few times I've seen ya. Lookin' all healthy and shit"
You immediately scoff past a smile and shake your head in disagreement, but your next words counter it. "Thanks" you nod. "Just went through an episode I think. Some mid-life crisis shit despite only being eighteen"
