Where Your Loyalties Lie - {Severus Snape x Reader}

-34-

The next week, the whole school heard how the History of Magic Professor, Gilderoy Lockhart leaves Hogwarts as soon as possible. There were quite a few students and some professors that got shocked by this. But as we all know Lockhart, he quickly had made up the 'perfect' excuse to tell the students for his leaving. By his words 'the job was too easy, so I'll go and seek new adventures'. What an arse. No idea what Dumbledore told him, but seems that we won't be seeing him anywhere near to the castle ever again. There are some students that are sad about his leave - mostly his fans, who has no clue what kind of person he really is. The rest of us... We are quite happy. Specially me. Now me and the others can wander around the castle and its surroundings without the fear of getting assaulted by him.

Part of me feels great, the other part... I can hear Umbridge's voice echoing in my head how yet another teacher got fired because of me. "Good job everyone! I'll see you on Wednesday." I end the class and the students starts leaving. "Oh, Neville!" I call after him behind the desk. The boy turns around with questioning face:"Yes, Professor (Y/L)?". I wait for a moment that the class gets empty before I continue:"I was wondering, if it's not too much to ask... Would you be able to deliver the plants into Professor Snape's classroom?". There is the every month box ready to go other side of the classroom. Neville tenses up:"M-me? I don't know..-", "You can ask Luna to go with you." I try to reason with him. It makes him feel little bit ease:"Right now?". I nod:"Yes. If you'll please..?". Tilting my head and giving the best pleading eyes. He gives a tight smile and picks up the box:"I'll go ask her.". As soon as he leaves the room, I collapse on the chair behind me. Phew..!

There is no way to go around it... I have been avoiding the Potions Master since Thursday, when he saw my memory and threatened Lockhart. After going back and forth everything that has happened between me and Severus... I feel so ashamed that I haven't been able to see him. My face keeps going red after replaying the scene when he found out how willing I was to get locked up in the Broom Cupboard with him. So embarrassing! "Oh, dear Merlin..." I bury my face into my arms that are resting on the desk. Wonder if he even thinks about that? Hope not! Whenever there has been a change he'd show up in the Greenhouse, I have left the castle. To the Hogsmeade to do some shopping or left to Hagrid's hut to take care of some beasts. I just don't know how to face him after all that! C'mon, (Y/N)! Quickly, I shook my head to get my thoughts straight and get up from the chair. I need to see him and thank him for stepping up for me!

My face goes red again and I fall back down onto the chair, keeping my head low. Just... Not right now. Just then, I hear someone come in. Thinking it's Neville to report how the plants are now delivered, I lift my head:"That was quick..-", my heart skips a beat and eyes widens. It's the Potions Master himself! And he looks pissed. Immediately, I shoot up from the chair:"...I..-", "Care to tell me why you are avoiding me?" he asks. Getting all nervous here:"A-avoiding? Who? Me..? Y-you? Noo..!". Then he starts approaching me:"Thought it was a pure coincidence not running into you, at first. But after sending a student - Mr. Longbottom to deliver the plants to my class... This is the second time you've done that.". Damn, he was fast come up here!

I'm so tensed up right now, I don't know what to say. "He volunteered." I lied. Severus starts slowly walking to the other side of the desk, his hands grabbing the edge of the desk as he basically crawls towards me while keeping very intense eye contact:"Even that damaged brain of yours should remember that lying to me has it consequences.". Without thinking, I start to go around the desk to keep the distance as he comes closer. "W-wait a minute..-! It's just that..." I stutter out even I have no clue what to say. My heart keeps beating fast and blush raises up on my face. This is too intense! Desperately, I try to explain him how busy I've been the whole weekend and today too, so... But it seems to make him more angry.

Without even realizing it, we have walked around the desk once already. I keep walking backwards, away from the desk until my back touches the pots on the long table. Bollocks. Severus is quick to corner me, now standing right in front of me while keeping the death stare, one hand leaning against the table behind me. "Why didn't you tell me?" he ask. Huh? He sees the slightly confused look on my face. "Why didn't you came to me after what happened with that disgusting scum?" he re-framed the question. Lowering my gaze down, looking defeated. "Because... I didn't want to bother you. Since it's not related to work and all..." my voice goes small towards the end.

Immediately he remembers the time he lashed out at the potions storage's doorway. Then I tell him all about how I went to see Umbridge and what she said to me. Can see from Severus's face how he holds himself back from yelling at me how stupid I can be. For a moment we stay in silence. "I'm sorry." I finally let out. He lifts those black eyes on my (e/c) eyes. Somehow, I feel more calm now:"I think I should've..- I mean, I know I should have come to you right away. I should have trusted you. It's just that...". Really don't know how to put my feelings into words, so I just hesitantly shrug:"I guess, I didn't want you to know?". Potions Master lets out a deep exhale and slowly lowers himself down to place his forehead against my right shoulder. Huh? It makes my heart flutter, like a tiny flame is inside me. "You'll be the death of me." he whispers to himself, which I couldn't quite hear.

We stay like that for a moment or two. Hard to tell how long we stand there for, but eventually I break the silence:"How did you know he was the one who poisoned me?". He pulls away:"My suspicious began from the moment I found you stumbling in Hogsmeade's alley, and he was the only one who came after you.". "What?" I frown. He then tells me how after he had run into me, and I lost my consciousness, Lockhart ran around the corner looking for me. As soon as he realized I wasn't alone, he had quickly turned back and ran off. "I would've stopped him right in there, but you decided it was the perfect time to throw up all over me..." he ends the story. Awkward smile comes up to my face:"Right, sorry about that...".

He sighs:"Believe it or not, that good for nothing scumbag did know how to block that specific memory of his non-existing brain whenever I tried to read it.". "Did he knew when you were reading his mind?" I ask. "Most likely." he reply. The thought of he might have harassed some of the students crosses my mind. "What did he then thought about?" I ask. Severus becomes uncomfortable to tell me the truth how dirty Lockhart's thoughts really were whenever he was near me. So much so he couldn't stand them and had to stop reading his mind. Waiting the man to answer:"What?". "Better if you don't know. So I'd suggest you to let it go." he said softly. Not the answer I was hoping for but... Guess it's better that way?

"So, I guess you own an apologize." I cross arms over my chest. "Hm?" he raise an eyebrow. Teasing smirk raises upon my face:"To Potter and his friends. Since they were not the ones who stole the cape nor the ingredients from your storage...". Severus turns his head away with such a 'nope, not going to happen' - look. Holding a giggle here while staring at the man in front of me. Knowing there is no way he'll ever go up to them and tell them he was wrong in this matter. "We should head to dinner." he says and starts leaving ahead. Quickly, I hold on to his cape and he feels the slight pull after two steps. "Severus..." I let out softly. He glances over his shoulder, giving the side eye while my eyes are already staring back at him. My heart keeps pounding fast inside my chest, yet I feel quite calm. My heart feels so warm around him.

"...Yes?" he raise his eyebrow, waiting me to continue. I'm not even sure what do I want to say. I just want to be with him. Tightening the grip around the fabric a bit before opening my mouth. "Thank you, for stepping up for me. Truly. It means a lot to me. You are the best." I smile softly with light shade of pink on my cheeks. It sounded way better in my head, but... I really mean it. That sends blush rush up on Severus's cheeks without my notice. He then quickly turns his head away and snatches the cape out of my reach.

"May I remind you; I still haven't made you pay from lying to me. So I wouldn't be casually throwing gratitudes around, if I were you." he mutters while trying to calm himself down from whatever cuteness overload he is feeling. With that, he continues to walk out of the classroom. While watching him getting further away, I can't help but once again realize how much I actually like him. Wonder if he feels the same..? "Are you coming or not?!" his voice echoes near the Greenhouse's exit. It breaks my little bubble and I rush after him:"Y-yes!".