I lay with you

20.

During the week, Thalia had made it back home under the conditions that she would take it very easy, which was hard for her. She always needed to be doing something and now, she couldn't.

Especially since she wasn't allowed to carry anything. Marge, Alexia, Tom, Alba, Eli and Ona had all forced Thalia to sit out on arranging everything for the funeral. She was, of course, allowed to say her input but she wasn't allowed to make any calls or wind herself up for it.

And that was a challenge.

But she managed.

The Barca team had manged to make it to Australia in one piece, visiting for the funeral and soon they were all sat in the church.

It was a beautiful ceremony. The girls had laid Sarie down in a beautiful white casket. The pastor said a few nice things and then it was up for Thalia to give a speech. Even though she hadn't been able to help with everything as much as she wanted to, she still wanted to give a speech. So here she was, as first person to give a speech. Her eyes sad as she looked into the room.

She took a deep breath and then got closer to the microphone.

"Hello everyone, I want to start off by thanking all of you for coming here to say our goodbyes to Sarie Kessler. The past few days have been hard and I possibly can't imagine how Margot and Alexia must have felt, especially when it became clear that I also needed a life threatening surgery. So only for that already, Ale, Marge and Tom, thank you guys so much for being strong.

Now to get to the part that I have been dreading the most. How do you even say goodbye to someone who has been there for everything? How do you say goodbye to the woman who named you? How do you say goodbye to your own mom? I do not have the answer for that.

In the past few days I've had my moments where things were tough and I thought: Let's call mom. She surely knows how to do this.

But every single time, that it hit, it just hits harder. I can't call mom. I can't tell her that I love her one last time. I will never be able to see that eternal smile again.

Even though that we are hurting, I know that she was hurting the most. She never imagined to be gone without seeing her grandchildren first. She would always brag about the fact that she would have been an amazing grandma and would try to do everything she could to be a grandma and grandpa at the same time. She didn't want our kids to be feeling like they missed something.

When she realised that she would die sooner than expected, a spark left her. She wanted to see so much more, do so much more. I also know that she would have loved to see Spain play in the World Cup. She talked to me about it before she died. She wanted to see the girls make it in that tournament and be there to support them. Even if her heart lies with the Australian team, she was the biggest Spain supporter because one of her two bonus kids played for that team.

Tom and Alexia. You came into the Robbie family by marrying Marge and me. Now, the both of us have had past relationships but we could tell that our mom never liked any of them, sorry, as much as she liked the both of you. Even though you weren't her actual children, she still cared and loved for you as if you were her own.

Mom, I want to end this speech by thanking you. You always truly did everything you could. Even pick up an extra shift so you could take Marge and me to the cinema. You did so much for us and you shaped us to who we are now. Thank you so much for that. I love you. Always and forever."

Everyone had started to let the waterworks flow during Thalia's emotional speech, some sobs resonating through the silence between the blonde her words. Thalia nodded her head, kissed her fingers and placed them on the casket as a final goodbye and then returned to her seat besides her wife. The tears were rolling down her face but she didn't care for once if they saw her cry. She needed to cry. She killed her speech. She was proud.