BLOOM • awsten knight

56

AUGUST 2018

The days go slowly, and Elle tries to stop herself looking at the pictures posted from tour so much.

Awsten calls her after every show, telling her all the good and the bad from the day; she admires him through the screen every time.

He senses something is off with her, though, and it feels a little more than just missing him, but he can't quite put his finger on it.

The mark that Awsten left on Elle's neck is almost gone, and she desperately wants him to come back and leave another in its place.

It's not just about having sex with him, it's a level of intimacy that they can reach without using many words; they don't have to think in those moments, because it's just them, completely lost in each other.

Neither of them can deny the way that when they're a part, it feels like they're missing a part of themselves, but there's something in each of their brains that feels wrong about it.

Awsten is enjoying the shows, though; he loves the crowds in Europe, and he likes hearing the different accents singing their songs back.

Realistically, the tour is short; it's only two weeks long, so no one really seems to understand the strange friction between him and Elle.

When Geoff asks Awsten what's going on between the two of them, he answers, "I don't know," with a sigh.

"You seemed really like.." he pauses, trying to find the right words, "I don't know, like you were really something, last week."

"I know, I mean-" Awsten cuts himself, and lets out another sigh. "Technically we are something, but we haven't spoken about it, and I don't think either of us want to."

"And now you're away," Geoff's eyebrows knit together as he seems to connect some dots, "it's almost like, the lack of communication is catching up to both of you?"

It's quiet for a moment as Awsten thinks over his words.

"I think you're right," he mumbles.

"Do you want a relationship with her?" Geoff raises an eyebrow.

"No," Awsten shakes his head, answering a little too quickly, which earns a shocked expression. "Well, yeah, I do, else I wouldn't be, you know-"

"Having sex with her," Otto chimes in, earning a glare. "Sorry."

"So, there's still feelings there?" Geoff presses.

"Yeah, of course," Awsten nods, running a hand through his hair. "But, I couldn't- I can't."

"Why not?" Otto questions, with a quizzical look.

"Because I don't wanna have to fucking worry," he replies, sounding more frustrated. "It took so much out of me last time- being in a relationship, while doing all this, I mean," Awsten stands up, and begins pacing. "Besides, she'll probably tour at some point, too. That means we'd both be on the road, probably at opposite times, and end up on opposite sides of the world to each other all the time, and I just can't-"

"Awsten," Geoff cuts him off, firmly, and he stops pacing. "Chill out for a minute, and sit down."

He takes a seat again, letting out a deep breath.