BLOOM • awsten knight

84

APRIL 2019

Elle went to bed before Taylor and Ethan got home; she's up and out of the apartment before they even wake up, too.

She has another full day, but her first stop is therapy.

She decided to book an early session to fit in this morning, since it's the only free point she seems to have all week, and she's glad that she did after last night.

Elle likes her therapist; she bounced between three very quickly, before she settled on Colleen; she's nice, pretty, and not too old that it creates an uncomfortable age gap when talking about certain things. She feels comfortable with her, and talking to her is easy; or at least, the easiest it can be.

Letting out a long, exaggerated sigh, Elle lounges on the couch set up across from Colleen.

"Well, make yourself at home," she giggles, while Elle shifts to get more adjusted in the seat. "You okay?"

"I'm so tired," she whines. "Why did I agree to this early-ass appointment?"

"Because you felt like you needed it," Colleen replies, with a more serious tone.

Elle stays quiet for a moment, before sitting up a little straighter.

"Alex called me last night," she admits, looking at a blank space in the room.

"Did you answer?" Colleen asks, hesitantly, as she awaits for more of a comment from Elle.

"Yeah," she admits, running her finger over the silver ring that sits on her index finger. "It wasn't like the other times, though."

"Do you wanna expand on that?" Colleen presses.

"Yeah," Elle answers, shortly. "I got angry. Like, really angry," she starts, her eyebrows dipped together. "I told him that I hate him."

"And, do you hate him?"

"I do," she nods. "I do hate him."

Elle makes eye contact with Colleen as she says it, which makes it feel more sincere. It's the first time she's been able to admit that she hates him. For so long she's been stuck with this strange ache for him, and it's made her sad; but now, she's finally reached the stage that she can be really angry.

"Awsten showed me a song," Elle speaks up again, which Colleen initially thinks is a way of her changing the subject, but it somehow links. "I think it flipped a switch in me."

"How so?"

"Well, the song is like, an angry breakup song," she begins to explain. "But, it comes from a better place. It's not all like, self pitying and shit. He said that's exactly how he wanted it to come across."

"Okay, and how did that affect you when you heard it?" Colleen raises an eyebrow.

"It made me want to be better, I think," Elle tilts her head, trying to piece her words together correctly. "Or, it made me realise that I am better. Not like, fixed, but I mean, I'm better off," she elaborates. "Like, I know now that I'm better off without all of that bullshit that he put me through. And that it's okay to regret it, right?" She looks to Colleen, who nods simply; she doesn't want to give her full opinion, because that's unprofessional, but she wants Elle to keep talking and opening up. "Like, I always said that I wouldn't do this differently the second time around, but now I know that I would."

Colleen offers Elle a smile when she looks at her.

"Speaking of Awsten," she raises an eyebrow, and Elle's face begins to heat up. "What's going on with him?"