BLOOM • awsten knight

118

DECEMBER 2019

Elle feels exhausted when she wakes up; though, she isn't entirely sure how she's waking up, when she doesn't even remember going to sleep.

All she remembers from last night is Taylor coming over, to listen to her rant for a little while, before insisting she went back home to Ethan, since it was getting late; then she just cried.

She must've cried herself to sleep at some point, because she wakes up with puffy eyes and a sore throat, which she knows will make it incredibly difficult to record anything today.

Still, she gets dressed and goes down to the studio.

It's not hard for Zakk to tell that somethings wrong, when she shows up in sweats and a hoodie, let alone a hoodie that doesn't appear to be Awsten's.

"Everything okay?" He asks, gently.

"Mhm," Elle nods quickly. "Should we start with the finishing touches on Maybe?"

"Uh, yeah," Zakk agrees, picking up on the fact that she clearly doesn't want to talk about it. "We haven't got much left to do on that, just a few harmonies, I think."

"Then, we could do Ribcage after?" She suggests.

"If you want to. You look pretty tired, Elle, we don't have to—"

"I'm alright," she insists, working up a smile.

"Okay," he gives in, as she steps into the booth.

Maybe is a little hard to get through, so Elle is glad when they don't have much more to do on it.

It's weird singing about the possibility of being better of on your own, when in reality, Elle is in a good relationship; or at least she thinks so.

Nonetheless, it's how she felt when writing it, and she still wants the song on the album to represent that.

Ribcage proves to be fairly difficult, too. It's one of her favourite songs that she's written, because it enabled her to articulate so many feelings that she hadn't previously been able to.

It makes her feel sad for Awsten, because she's always wondering if maybe she hasn't opened herself up to him enough; maybe one day he'll get sick of being shut out and just leave.

In reality, that would never happen, because he respects her and he understands why she occasionally keeps her guard up, and it'd be hypocritical for him to be anything less than understanding; but, that doesn't stop Elle from thinking deeply into it while she sings.

She chokes up slightly, while singing the penultimate chorus, but pushes through it until she's finished.

"Uh, do you think I should re-do that last part?" Elle asks Zakk, stepping out of the booth.

"Honestly, I think it sounds good," he answers. "Here, listen," he adds, playing it back for her. "D'you like it? Or—"

"No, you're right," Elle nods. "It sounds good like that."

"D'you wanna stop there?" Zakk questions.

She pauses and thinks for a moment, turning to scan through what else they've got to record; she knows she doesn't have to rush it, and even though she feels like she's got a little bit more left in her, all she really wants to do is go home.

"Yeah, I think that's it for today," Elle decides, earning a sympathetic look.

"Go home and get some rest, yeah?" Zakk suggests, and she collects her things.