BLOOM • awsten knight

66

DECEMBER 2018

"Are you gonna go?"

"No."

"Elle," Taylor raises her eyebrows.

"What?" She earns a sharp look, as she takes a long pause. "Fine, I've been thinking about it."

Elle lets out a sigh, joining Taylor on the sofa.

The last show of the Entertainment Tour is in Houston; it's sold out, and it's their biggest headline show ever.

Under any other circumstances, Elle would be there - but, it's been over six weeks since she's spoken to Awsten, when he left and said they were done.

"You want to go, don't you?" Taylor presses, more softly, though.

"Yeah, but, not to like, have any sort of conversation with him," Elle admits. "I want to go for the show, for the fact that it's my favourite band's biggest headline show, in their hometown," she explains, "I don't want to go to sort things out with him."

"Do you want me to go with you?" Taylor asks, but Elle shakes her head.

"It's okay," she offers her a smile. "I just kind of want to stay at the back, and hide in a corner," she shrugs. "I don't really want anyone to see me there, because people are already assuming shit," Elle rolls her eyes. "Jawn and Daphne were trying to convince me to go anyway, so I'll stay with them for a little while. I'll be fine."

Elle had already bought a ticket, just in case. She knew she wanted to go, for the band rather than for Awsten; it may sound harsh, but it was a milestone that she knew she wanted to be a part of, regardless of what has happened between the two of them.

She knows she doesn't have to go back stage to see or speak to him, and she knows that if she stays far enough away, he won't see her from the stage; he doesn't even have to know she's there.

"Oh my god, you're gonna come?" Daphne grins, excitedly.

"Yeah, but- it's lowkey, okay?" Elle warns. "I don't want him to know I'm there."

"Why?" Daphne frowns.

"He doesn't need to know," Elle shrugs. "You and Jawn can know, but no one can tell Awsten, got it?"

Daphne doesn't really understand it, but she nods anyway; she's not sure how things can go from how they were, to the two of them not wanting anything to do with each other - though, she's sure that isn't actually the case.

For Elle, it's more precautionary; she's hurt, and she doesn't want to see Awsten, because she's too scared that it'll rip her wounds open, when they haven't fully healed.

She hasn't fully processed the emotions that she's been going through, and she needs more time; but, what's to say that he would even want to see her?

Daphne tells Jawn that Elle agreed to go to the show, and gives him strict instructions to not let Awsten know.

Awsten has tried to stay away from Elle's social media for the most part; it's difficult when he feels drawn to her, but it's easier now that she's muted, and when she doesn't post as much anyway.