FEBRUARY 2019
It's raining in LA, and Awsten can't sleep.
He doesn't know what time it is, but the glow from the street lights outside is peaking through his blinds, reflecting shadows into his room.
He sighs, pushing the covers off of himself and shuffling to the edge of the bed.
Pulling open the blinds, only halfway, he watches the rain from his window.
The sound makes him think of Elle.
Maybe if he thinks hard enough, he'll be able to feel the warmth of her body next to him, and maybe he'll be able to hear the way she would mumble to him, in her half-asleep haziness.
It's creeping up to sixth months since he walked out on her, and it feels like such a long time ago.
The possibility that she could have moved on scares Awsten a little; what's even worse is that he doesn't know anything.
She doesn't post as much on her social media anymore, so that wouldn't reveal a lot, even if he was looking at it; but, he's not looking. He doesn't feel like he has the right to, not yet, at least.
He still has her t-shirt; he took it with him when he left Houston. He's not entirely sure why, since he doesn't think he has a reason to keep it anymore, and maybe she even wants it back - but it's folded up neatly in his drawer, tucked into a corner.
After all, she still has his hoodie - or at least, he presumes so.
He wonders if it's still in the same spot he remembers it to be: on her bedroom floor.
He wonders if she's worn it at all, or washed it, or if it still smells like it did the day he left.
Sometimes Awsten thinks he's beginning to let her go, but the image of her still burns in the back of his mind, and the memories are only enforced by the water drops running down his window.
Taking a deep breath, after a moment, he begins to hum to himself; his voice has a soft rasp, as his tiredness seeps through, and he grabs his phone to record a brief voice memo, before crawling back into bed.
The next morning, Elle is all that seems to be on Awsten's mind; it makes it a little harder to get out of bed, because his brain is so stuck on running over old memories, and the words they'd said to each other.
It makes him miss her more than usual; he misses the way she'd curl against his back when they slept, and acted as a source of heat, since she'd wrapped herself up in all of the covers.
He gets up though, and he walks over his desk; he pulls up the voice note that he recorded from the night before, and re-listens to it.
He looks over his set-up, and realises he needs to write a song.
//
"Are you sure about this one?" Elle raises an eyebrow, looking towards Taylor.
"You're not," she retorts.
"You're right," Elle grimaces as she looks around the apartment again. "I don't like this one."
"Okay," Taylor sighs, turning to leave, and Elle giggles at the dramatised action.
YOU ARE READING
BLOOM • awsten knight
Fanfiction[COMPLETE] Awsten Knight is in the aftermath of his break up, preparing for almost a full year of touring. He's going through his days mindlessly, awaiting the next sugar spike that will spark the start of this seemingly never ending cycle. His nex...
