BLOOM • awsten knight

73

APRIL 2019

"I should probably listen to some of her songs now, right?" Awsten looks up at Jawn, with a cautious face.

"Up to you," Jawn shrugs in response. "I'm staying out of that," he holds his hands up, as Awsten narrows his eyes at him.

Despite being apprehensive about it, if he's planning on going to her show tomorrow, Awsten thinks he may as well listen to the songs, before he hears them live anyway.

"You wanna do it alone, I'm guessing?" Jawn raises an eyebrow, earning a look that is enough of an answer for him. "Okay, I'm gonna go get coffee. D'you want anything?" Awsten shakes his head in response, and Jawn offers him a gentle look, before heading out of the door.

Awsten lets out a sigh before heading into his bedroom, and sitting at his desk; he pulls up Spotify on his laptop and searches Elle's name.

The first song to come up is Remember That Night?

He doubts this one will be the hardest to listen to, since he knows it's not about him - he doesn't even know if she's written about him at all - but, it's more the sound of her voice that will get to him.

As soon as he presses play, he feels like he's in his room in Houston again; with Elle, close to her, as she wrote this song.

Her voice is soft, and he notices a few extra things that have been changed since the demo she made; which isn't really surprising, considering the song was written nearly a year ago.

Once the song is over, Awsten lets out a deep breath; he didnt know he'd be holding it in, but now he feels like a slight weight has been lifted from his chest.

Though, recommended immediately beneath Elle's song are some songs by The Band Camino.

Awsten hasn't listened to them before, but he now knows that Elle has been writing with them a lot.

He looks up which songs she's written with them, and there's only two released so far, along with internet rumours that she's writing on their album with them - which Jawn had confirmed.

But, the internet rumours also seem to suggest that she could be dating the lead singer, Jeffrey.

Awsten looks away from his laptop screen with a pained expression, closing his eyes momentarily, before pulling up the two songs that have been released.

The first one is called Something To Hold Onto; it's the most recently released song, and probably the one that Jawn was referring to earlier.

Sonically, Awsten thinks it's different to what Elle usually creates - or what she used to, at least - but it's still great.

I still remember all the things you said
Laying in my bed
Eye to eye
I'll carry thoughts you put inside my head
'Til the day I die
Why oh why?

He can almost feel her in the lyrics, and it's only causing vague flashbacks to run through his mind, gradually becoming more vivid.

I saw your picture on the silver screen
Guess you don't miss me
That's the way it seems

Awsten wants to tell her that he has missed her; he doesn't know why she'd think he hasn't, because he has. His heart has ached for her everyday.