Love on Ice

Chapter 21 - James

~Authors Note: The next few chapters address anxiety/panic attacks~

I'm waiting for the team to finish getting ready when Connor walks up to me.

"Hey coach, I just saw Liv, she doesn't look great," he states frowning.

What?

Shit.

What's wrong?

"What do you mean? Where is she?" I ask.

"I just passed her, she was headed to the stands I think, barely even acknowledged me, not going to lie I think she wouldn't even have noticed me if I didn't say hello to her, her mind was completely elsewhere," he states.

Fuck, is this about the photos?

The fact she didn't know about the game?

Why would that matter?

"That's weird, maybe she's tired and didn't expect the late-night practice," I reply, completely and utterly concerned.

"Maybe, but she had the face of a ghost, I'd keep an eye on her if I was you coach," Connor adds before he returns to getting his gear on.

God, where is she now?

We head out to the rink and I immediately look around for her.

Thank goodness, she's there.

Well, she's there, but Connor was right, she's anywhere but this arena.

She's sitting on the stairs, elbows on her knees and head resting on her hands.

Gazing directly at the floor.

She's wearing a pale grey hoody, which nearly matches her skin tone.

Somethings not right.

Liv always has some kind of colour in her cheeks, even when I'm not flirting with her.

We finish the practice and I have noticed Liv's lack of enthusiasm this evening.

She barely even snapped two photos.

She's been in a trance most of the practice.

The boys head out to hit the showers and before I could even shout up to Liv, she was out the door.

I make my way back through the corridor and ask my coaches to wrap up the training with the boys.

I make my way through the corridor of the arena and notice her walking out of one of the bathroom doors.

She notices me walking towards her and her eyebrows shoot up.

"James, are you alright?" she asks as I near her.

I must have looked like a man on a mission.

I was.

She's pale.

Making the dark circles around her eyes even more prominent.

Is she sleeping?

Eating?

"I should ask you that question Liv, what's going on?" I ask.

She raises her eyebrows again at me, "nothing, why?".

"You look like hell Olivia, you are barely here," I state.

She frowns and looks down to her feet.

"I'm fine James, I'm just tried," she states as she turns around and walks away.

I jog up and catch up to her fast pace of walking.

"You don't look it Liv, please," I say as I lightly grab her elbow, "why do you keep trying to run away from me, what's going on Liv, I won't ask again."

She turns to face me, and I notice the slight trembling in her arm I'm gripping.

If she couldn't get any paler, she just did.

She rips her arm from my grasp and aggressively responds, "It's none of your business James, leave me alone."

Did I do something wrong?

She walks away again but I can hear her breathing.

Heavily.

Something not sitting right with me.

"Olivia," I firmly state as I march my way back to her.

By this point her eyes are filling with tears and her breathing has picked up to an abnormal pace.

"P-please James," I can see the camera shaking in her hand that she's clutching to her stomach, "please don't."

We both stop and turn to each other.

"I...I..." she starts before her breathing becomes too heavy to form coherent words.

I bring my hands up to her head and place my palms against each of her cheeks.

"Shh, shh, Olivia, breathe, talk to me, what's going on." I ask.

Before she can reply I hear a collective sound of the boys coming from around the corner.

We both snap our heads in that direction and Olivia's breathing becomes even more intense.

"S-shit," she starts saying as she shakes her head at the sound of the boys.

I pull her towards a supply closest to her left and push her and myself inside before any of the boys see us.

She clearly doesn't want them to see her in this state.

What the fuck is going on with her?