Love on Ice

Chapter 52 - James

I run out the doors and down the corridor, outside, she must be outside.

As soon as I step out, I feel the rain and coldness.

I see her.

She's walking, not running.

But barely walking, like she's possessed.

I run towards her, calling her name.

Finally, she stops.

Slowly turning around.

I feel the nausea creeping up as I see her face.

Tears streaming.

She's broken.

I did that, I broke her.

I reach her, she's looking at me but it's like she's looking through me.

"...what did she say to you?" I ask.

I can see the fire filling her eyes.

The anger that I have unleashed.

Her words are strong but she's barely beathing.

Almost gasping for air.

Memories of that first night I witnessed her panic attacks flood back to me.

Shit.

I need to stop this.

The more I speak the angrier she gets.

Her voice is disappearing, like someone's taking it away from her.

"Breathe," I say, but it's no good, she doesn't hear me.

She drops to her knees.

Fuck.

"BREATHE."

"OLIVIA."

"OLIVIA."

"LIVY."

She's not listening.

She can't hear me.

"BREATHE."

Powerless.

That's how I feel right now, helpless.

I caused this, I was once the person who could help this, and now I'm the cause of it.

Her eyelids are fading.

She's fading away from me.

Olivia.

Livy.

Liv.

Baby.

Please.

Tears are running down my cheeks now, joining the drops of rain on her skin as I pull her closer to me.

She's so close to me, but so far away.

Comeback Liv.

Comeback to me.

I cradle her closer pulling me as tight to my chest as I can.

She's breathing, uneasy, but she's breathing and that's the main thing.

As long as this coldness and dampness doesn't take over that.

I pull out my phone from my back pocket and dial Megs number.

She answers on the second ring.

"Jame-" confusion in her voice echoes through the phone.

Before I can let her finish, I'm shouting down the phone.

Telling her things I need.

Towels, clothes, hot water bottles, blankets.

I want it all laid out for me when I walk through that door.

"What? James, I don't understand? What's going on?" Megs asks.

I try and portray as much as I can to her.

Leaving out the details of why Olivia has just had a serious panic attack and passed out in my arms and is currently at risk of hypothermia.

Because of me.

Thankfully Megs acknowledges me, and I hang up the phone, knowing I can trust her with making sure I get Liv back to health as soon as I can.

By this point I'm already making my way across the car park. Liv in my arms, still unconscious, almost lifeless, but breathing.

I pull my keys from my back pocket, loading her into the passenger seat of my truck.

I grab my dry coat of the back seat and wrap it around her.

I jog to the driver's side and let myself in.

I drive the 10 minutes from the arena to her house.

My cheeks flushed pink from the vents blowing out hot air for the last 10 minutes, trying to bring Olivia's temperature up as slowly and carefully as I can.

Before I am even pulling up at the curb Megs is out the front door running down the path towards the passenger side.

It's stopped raining, thank God.

"Shit. James. What the fuck happened?" Megs asks.

"I don't have time to explain right now Megs, please. I will explain everything let's just get her inside," I say.

She holds the passenger door open while I pull Liv from the car and make my way towards the house.

Megs shuts the door of the car and follows behind me as we fast walk our way through the front door, closing that behind us too.

I smile to myself as I see the coffee table laid out with every item I asked for and the sofa cushions removed with blankets and two hot water bottles laid out.

Thank you, Megs.

I lay Liv down on the sofa and ask Megs to start taking her clothes off her and drying her off.

I run back to my car and grab a change of clothes from my boot.

When I walk back inside, Megs has put the leggings and hoodie that she has laid out for Liv on her and is towel drying her hair carefully.

I walk upstairs and changed my clothes in the bathroom.

I wasn't going to be much help to Liv if I was soaked as well.

When I come back downstairs Liv is in a burrito of blankets and hot water bottles, her cheeks rosy.

Thank fuck.

Megs is knelt beside her caressing her cheeks with her hands, whispering words of comfort.

I walk up to her and kneel beside the sofa.

Megs moves up towards the top of the armrest allowing me to take my spot by her face.

I feel the emotion running through my veins.

Realisation of what's just happened settling into me.

I hold her carefully, like she might just shatter in front of me.

Feeling the warmth building in her and watching each breath build and leave her body in a slowly steadying rhythm.

My Liv.

I can't fight it, the feeling of relief washing over me, tears start falling from my own eyes.

I keep my hands cupping her cheeks as I rest my forehead on the edge of the of the sofa, letting the small sobs leave my body.

"James, James, it's okay, she's okay," Megs whispers as she places a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"I fucked up Megs," I say between sobs.

"James what happened, talk to me."

And with that, I tell her everything.