Love on Ice

Chapter 30 - Olivia

I lay in James arms, resting on his chest as his legs wrap around my body, holding me close.

I never expected he would come to my house.

I knew I was risking it when I didn't reply to his messages and didn't go to work.

But I couldn't bear to leave this room.

Not today.

We lay in silence for what feels like a lifetime, but I have never felt so much comfort and warmth.

"What was her name?" he asks.

I let out a sigh.

"Ellie," I reply quietly, my voice crackling with the sobs.

"What happened to her?" he asks.

I'm not ready.

I can't.

"...she...died," I reply, slight wit to my voice.

I know he knows that.

He's not stupid.

He continues to move his thumb up and down my cheek, "I know, I won't ask anymore," he says.

God, this man.

"I miss her," I say, more tears leaving my eyes.

"What of your parents Liv?" he asks.

I move my hand against his chest, grounded by the feel of his heartbeat.

"They left, left me after she died," I reply.

I hear him sigh out loud.

"Luckily I had Megs, so I wasn't alone," I add.

"Well, now you have me as well," he replies.

I move my face up, so I can look at him in the eyes.

"And the team," he adds.

He moves down and places another soft kiss in the centre of my forehead.

We sit in comfortable silence for a few more minutes before I feel my head getting heavy and my eyelids softly closing.

"Come on, it's late," James's soft voice brings me back to reality, "let's get you to bed."

He rises from his seat and brings me to stand.

I close my eyes at the sudden rush of pain across my forehead.

"You'll feel that even more in the morning Liv, you drank half a bottle of vodka," he states as he guides me out of the bathroom and into my bedroom.

I take a seat on the edge of my bed, "get changed into some pjs, I'll get you a glass of water," James states.

I nod at him as he takes a step out of the room, closing the door behind him.

I sit for a moment, thinking about the turn my night has taken.

Usually I drink until I blackout, finding that the best way to fall asleep on this god awful day.

I rise slowly from my bed and find some clean pjs before slipping them on and heading back into the bathroom.

I pick up the bottle laying in the bathtub and pour the rest down the drain.

I turn the shower on and wash away the vodka coating the surface.

I place the bottle in the bathroom bin and turn to the sink.

I take a look at myself in the mirror before smiling at the state of me.

Well, if he's seen me like this, then he's most definitely seen me at my worse.

I grab my toothbrush and brush the vodka flavour lingering in my mouth away before splashing cold water on my face.

Just as I'm drying my face off James walks back into the room, glass of water in hand.

I pick up the crumpled photo of Ellie and straighten it out in my hands.

I step out of the bathroom, turning the light off and shutting the door before placing the scrunched-up photo of Ellie on my dresser before taking the cold water from his hand.

"Thank you," I reply before taking a sip.

He takes it from my hand and places it on my bedside table as I move to sit on my bed.

"Come on, in," he points to the pillow.

I move further down and place my head on the cool pillow as James pulls the cover over my body.

Oh god, is he going to leave?

I need him to stay.

I feel my eyes begin to speckle with water again at the fear of him leaving.

"Livy," he whispers as he pushes my hair behind my head.

"Please don't go James."

I don't care how desperate I sound.

"Please don't leave yet, I won't be able to fall asleep," I say as more tears fall down my cheeks.

I search his face for any sign of a reply, or what he's thinking.

"Move over," he states.

I shuffle back into the centre of the bed as James moves to lay next to me, on top of the bed sheets.

He places one hand above his head which allows me to shuffle my face closer to his side.

I place my hand on his chest as his other hands grasps it in his.

"I'm not going anywhere Liv," he replies shortly after.

I let a few more tears escape my eyes, this time not from the mourning, but the relief and comfort I have in this moment.

I allow the good memories of Ellie filter into my mind, knowing I'm safe.

Safe in his arms.

As I drift into sleep.