Stuck At The 9th Step

CHAPTER 44 : GET HER BACK

#SAT9S

DEDICATED TO : Sophia Reina Rivera Tadaya

CHAPTER 44 : GET HER BACK

Seeing Ren with a not well-known girl cemented what Shinn had stated. The cheating issue might be true. With the big smile on their faces and those gestures, I'm pretty sure that wasn't just for the sake of pretensions. He seems happy with his new girl, whom I barely recognized. She's not even familiar. I'm sure that was the first time I saw her. That abhorrent scene made me believe on Shinn's accusation against him. Ren cheated on Rhea. In any way or sense of the word, he cheated on Rhea.

"Fuck it." I hissed while clenching my fists. I can't take his side anymore. I even defended him against Shinn's harsh defamation. How stupid of me to defend a cheater. Kung alam ko lang na ganito ang gagawin niya, sana hindi ko pinagkatiwala sa kanya si Rhea.

Him, being able to move on in span of months while Rhea is suffering from emotional depression made me question if Ren gave enough share for their relationship. It seems like their love was on state of imbalance. It did not occur in equal or proper amounts of love they needed. Someone gave more. The other one took more of what he had given. Hindi pantay kaya may sobrang nasasaktan habang ang isa ay nagpapakasaya na sa buhay niya sa piling ng iba.

He did not love Rhea the way Rhea had/has loved him. Because if he did, he would've waited. He should've stayed, right? Kung ako 'yon, maghihintay ako. Hindi ako maghahanap ng iba. Hindi ako dedepende sa iba. All she needs was time to think. Rhea has her own fault but why did Ren let her decide alone? Why did he let her have all the choices when all along, he knew that Rhea was on state of vulnerability? First of all, he was the one who put her on that case. There were so many things to consider. The guy got an easy life after their separation while Rhea was badly having a hard time from what happened. What makes me hate him more was the fact that he has reservations. He got a new one right away! Damn it. How inconsiderate of him.

I want to wring his neck but I couldn't take a step. I got glued to where I was standing. I didn't dare to move 'coz if I know I wouldn't be able to stand it. Having a row in a public place is never a good idea, no matter how puissant my emotions are. At that moment, it was very convincing on my part but I restrained myself from doing something that would only put me on shame. Pinanuod ko lang silang makalayo hanggang sa hindi ko na sila matanaw. Nakakamanhid ang pakiramdam. If I could feel this kind of pain, paano pa kaya si Rhea? I couldn't obstruct the bitterness I felt. I had a taste of Rhea's feeling towards Ren which she tries to conceal and overcome alone. Unsavory. Very distasteful. I hate him in instant. All my sympathy goes to her, no single drop left for Ren.

I thought I could make them go back together. Gaano man kabaliw isipin na mahal ko si Rhea pero kaya ko siyang ibigay sa iba kung do'n siya sasaya. Man, I just realized that was one lame idea. How stupid of me to consider such notion. Rhea doesn't deserve a cheater. Ren should get a life. He doesn't have any idea of what he got lost. It was like choosing a rocky path to a flawless one. Damn him. Hindi ko makita ang punto niya at hindi na ako magsasayang ng panahon para umintindi.

Instead of hearing the other half of the story from Ren, I turned my back and let the things go as it is. I don't need more explanations. I've seen enough. Rhea doesn't need to hear this. Ren doesn't have to know what Rhea has been going through especially now that he already has a substitute for her. If he's happy, then so be it. The goal here is to help Rhea go back in shape. Make her see the world without the presence of the man she once loved. Let me rephrase that. The man she still loves. How I would do that also puzzles me. There's only one thing I promised. Ren will lose. He's going to regret this. Once Rhea found her happiness, he'll definitely regret this.

"She's getting by. Her psychiatrist advised me not to make her too dependent on anyone, even her family. She has to overcome her own issues without the help of others. She's on the process of acceptance but the doctor said Rhea can't help to deny things especially when the questions are too personal and sensitive. So, he considered to rate her pain as a way to determine her honesty and dishonesty. I'll advised you to do the same."