Letters

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We’d barely made it anywhere when I had one of the most bittersweet moments of my life. Optimus’ voice came through my com link; only my com link. At least, I’d thought it was the com link.

Optimus: Maiden.

I half-jumped, half-stumbled out of JumpStart’s arms and walked about ten feet after I’d regained my footing.

Blade: “Optimus! Where-!”

Optimus: It has been three days since your departure from Earth, and our farewell was far from ideal, but I’m hoping that these ‘letters’ if you will, work as I hope.

I fell to my knees when I realized that this was a prerecorded message and Optimus couldn’t hear me. It wasn’t even through the com link, but through our minds.

Optimus: I know you instructed me not to communicate with you this way, but I know that the com link will not reach you on Cybertron without the computer. I have nothing against our comrades, but I wish to have no witnesses; some of our allies still find offense in your leaving. I am trying to understand why you have left, Maiden. As much as I have ever tried for anything, I respect your needs-.

Raven: “Blade? Are you-?”

I put my hand up to silence her.

Optimus: -wish I knew why you cannot stand me anymore. I will be waiting for you, Maiden. Please return unharmed. Sincerely, Optimus Prime.

I hung my head. It was over. There was no magic replay button. No rewind. Those words killed me and caressed me all at once. How badly I had wasted what he felt for me . . .

Jay: “Jewel . . .”

Raven: “What happened?”

They were getting closer to me, but I stood up before they could pick me up again.

Blade: “Fine. I’m fine. Just . . . lead the way.”

I couldn’t look at them; I wasn’t sure if my recently shattered heart just had a few pieces glued together or crushed even smaller.

I followed them the final few miles, unable to speak. My mind was completely preoccupied with Optimus. What if he’d sent more letters? If he had, how many? If he’d sent more, I would have a window where it would be like he was still alive . . . but it wouldn’t be enough. I needed him.

            I was so wrapped in thought that when we reached the cave, I was completely off guard. Sure enough, the wolves were waiting inside; SteelPaw had even taken a liking to Firefly and was sitting diligently at her side. Appreciating the company, she was stroking his fur distantly, her mind preoccupied.

For an entirely different reason, I stopped in the cave’s entrance.

Optimus: Maiden, I still have not received any reply from you and sincerely hope that it is because of the inevitable delay in the travel of these messages and not because you do not wish to speak to me. We are preparing to depart to Cybertron within the next few minutes. I hope that you return safely with Raven so that we may speak face-to-face. Once Cybertron has been restored, I will return for you and the others, but until then I wish you to be safe on your true home. I promise I will see you soon. Whether you wish to see me or not, I must know you are well. Sincerely, Optimus Prime.

He promised. He really promised. But he couldn’t keep it. I wanted him to keep it. I wanted to see him. He knew I would want him to promise. But there was something worse to me: that letter was from today. It would be the last one I got. There had to be more; he’d made it sound like there was more . . . so where were they?

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