Wishes at 11:11 (Niall Horan and Zayn Malik)

Trying To Cope

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****READ THE AUTHORS NOTE AT THE END IT INLOVES YOU, YES YOU!****

(Ronni's POV)

Rain drops race down the foggy windows as the bus shakes back and forth with movement. Lazily, my head falls to rest on the window sill and my arms wrap around my legs, hugging them tightly to my chest as the rain falls harder from the sky. Music fills my ears, blocking  out the world with the genius melodies of Ed Sheeran, relaxing my body and slightly numbing the pain in my chest. I try to close my eyes and submerge myself into my own world, but am greeted with re-runs of last night playing through my eye lids, mocking me. I let out a sigh before slowly opening my eyes again to realize that I'm not alone anymore. Opposite me at the little table I claimed, sits a guilty looking Zayn staring at me sadly. I've told him many times since last night that what happened between Niall and I was not his fault and that I was the one who dragged him into it by telling him about my problems. But Zayn still obviously feels terrible and blames himself for Niall and mine's break up.

"Hey." He mumbles, holding my gaze. I pull my ear buds out, expecting him to say more, but he just looks away to stare at he cars passing by though the window. I do the same before placing the ear buds back in place, grateful that he didn't carry on a conversation. I have a feeling that he knew I didn't want to talk, but wanted company on this lonely buss ride and that's exactly what he's giving me. Silent company. Usually, I would sit with Niall on rainy days like this and cuddle into his warm chest. I would be sharing these ear phones with him instead of having them all to myself. I would much rather have it that way, but that damn pothole flipped everything upside down. Now I'm sitting in a little ball, blocking myself out from the others while waiting for my heart to mend its self.

The others don't know whats actually going on. Zayn, Niall and I are the only ones who know how serious our fight actually was. The others think its just a little spot that we will get over in a small amount of time. They don't know that Niall pretty much dumped me and left me to rot away with my heart to be the first thing to parish. So naturally, they're giving Niall and I our space without really showing much interest in our problems because they think they know whats going to happen in the end. They think that we will be fine by the end of the day. I wish. Instead, I'm left wondering if we will ever be okay in the end.

"Ron?" My thoughts are interrupted by Zayn as he pulls one of my ear phones out, giving me a worried look. "Are you okay, love?"

"Yeah-" I stop as I feel a drop of warm water fall on my knee and suddenly realize that I've been crying. Quickly, I raise a hand to my face to wipe the tears from my cheek, cursing when I see black smudges on my fingers, proving that my make up is running. "I'll be right back."

The earphones fall to the table as I stand up, Zayn's sad eyes burning into my skull as I walk away in the direction of the bathroom. I curse under my breath when I feel they others staring at my tear-stained face. They all call my name before looking questioningly at each other, new worry etched on their faces. I ignore them and keep walking to the bathroom in the back of the buss. I look down at my feet when I pass through the bunks, hiding my face from Niall who lays in his bed with his phone in his hand. I quickly sneak a glance at his still figure to see his gaze already locked to mine, an emotionless expression on his face. I feel my heart stop beating as I struggle to open the bathroom door before quickly closing it again, leaving me to be alone with nothing but my reflection.

How is he not effected by this?, I wonder as I desperately scrub the black streaks from my cheeks. Here I am, crying my eyes out, and he's just laying there with no emotion. I let out a long sigh, unaware that I have been holding my breath. I take one last look at my reflection before opening the door once again. From my place outside the bathroom door, I can see the back of Niall's head. I stop in my tracks and take the opportunity to watch him, my heart beating faster by the minute. I do everything in my power to keep myself from jumping onto his bunk and kissing every square inch of his exposed skin. I shake my head sadly and walk pass his bunk as fast as my feet could carry me, desperate to get back to my little table with Zayn.