Super Simulator

Chapter 33- It's Your Room, Dumbo

I was on Spencer's laptop, watching my friends read 'la book'. My glasses sat on top of my head, and I reached up and took them off. It was really giving me nostalgia. Spencer, right after the Arena-Fear-Simulator thing ended sent me to his room. He doesn't really like to look at people's Fears, but I trusted him enough. He was good to me. And I really liked him. But of course, I don't think I can be with him. Since the whole mate thing and all. I frowned, nothing ever seems to be my choice, huh?

"Can I come in?" I heard him knock on the door. "It's your room, dumbo," I chuckled as he came smiling in. His grin stretched across his face, as did mine.

He looked at the screen. "Seems like they're back to reading the book Stacie found," he said. I jumped up. "What?!" Stacie found it? She's the one who read our profiles before when we were all not cool with it? She's the on who got mad when I'M the one who found out! That BITCH!

"Yeah, she found it in the library," Spencer said. I didn't even know the bitch could read.

"I can show you any footage you want, we film everything. Even though some parts we don't want to . . . " he said. I looked up into his stormy eyes, shocked by what he was saying. "Can you show me where Jason full charm spoke me?" I asked him. He nodded and typed some gibberish into the computer, as the footage played on the nearest screen. I was there, gold eyed and all.

Jason asked me, "Can you . . . God. I feel awful for making you do this, but it's too late now. Tell me from beginning  to end," he asked. 

I gasped. THAT'S what he wanted to know? Wait, why? Why didn't he tell me he asked that? I mean . . . Oh shit. 

I was telling him everything, my voice similar to a robot's. "Oh, wow," Jason muttered, guilt written over his face as well as dread. He heard that I liked him, how I had felt. "I . . . wow. For once my drunken self said the truth. I'm . . . So sorry, Emera." He looked at me sadly. "I like you too, but . . . I never knew before . . . and what you said. Damn, I feel terrible. I mean. Wow. I feel so blind Emera, and I stole your confession, when you didn't want to. I feel awful. I really care about you, but I have a feeling in the back of my head  that I have slight feelings for Stacie. I know she feels the same about me, but all this time I've felt strong, but uncertain feelings for you. And . . . I mean I'm not sure who I'll choose. Everything I said in my drunken state, it was true. But you, you're the most important person to me at the moment, Stacie second. I know I'm a dick sometimes, and you will be pissed at me. I don't think I love you, because you seem all over the place. You don't seem to ever have your walls down. I'm scared for the day you walk away. Oh, what the hell? It's not like you're even there, or you'll even know what I'm saying. I hollowed you out, didn't I? I guess I'm still the same monster . . . Ha. And you think you're the monster sometimes. I might as well be talking to a wall."  He grabbed at his hair, as my controlled self stared off blankly. 

Spencer's footage ended. I stared at the screen, and reached to gently touch Jason's pixel-ated face. So my suspicions were correct, every time I wasn't with him, he was with Stacie.

But he had some feelings for me.

But he wasn't sure.

And I've been gone for so long, those feelings might have been given away.

To Stacie.

"Look, Emera. He is kind of an ass. But he cares about you. What I don't understand is how it's even a competition between you and Stacie," Spencer said. I sighed, "You're only saying that because you're my friend." He slammed his fist on the table, causing me to jump. "No! You listen to me, Emera! He is a fool if he thinks you can even be compared to her. She does so many terrible things when he isn't there, but look at you! You don't seem to realize how special you are, even without the powers. You're a girl worth noticing, Emera. You have so much passion, fire, life! You're strong, yet you rebuild your walls when someone tries to cut them down. You have so many secrets, Emera, your group doesn't know even one. I've watched you for practically most of the both of our lives Emera. I fell in love with you, just watching you in a screen. I was so upset, because I knew it meant you might have a mate, and I was more tense when you were showing attraction to Jason. And here I was, the unknown boy on a screen. Doing my job, and some parts I loved, some parts I hated. I wanted so badly to help you Emera, in the simulator and in real life. All of those bullies, I wanted to fight along side you. You're so talented, but people just ignore because of their jealousy. Your group probably doesn't know half of your talents, do they? And me, I know. Because everyone here knows. You're admired, and idol to some people. And she, she hasn't fought. You, you're gorgeous. You don't seem  to realize it." 

He stared at me in the eyes, they looked like they trapped a thunderstorm.  Some how I ended up leaning against a wall, Spencer's arm at the side of my head. How did I get here?

"You want to know why I was saying 'wow' when I first met you? Because you were even more amazing and beautiful in real life, more than I even imagined. I was star- no awestruck," he said.

I was stunned. I had no idea, I mean, I like Spencer too, even know I've only known him for a short while. I was starting to understand how it felt for Jason. Spencer sighed, his hot breath close to mine.

"I know this isn't going to be easy for you to process. But, whatever happens, I'm here for you. I just want you to be happy, whether its with Jason or me. I'll wait, if it isn't meant to be between you two. And no matter what, we're still friends. And I'm always there, just behind a screen. You have both Jason and me. Jason has both you and Stacie, but you have someone from the inside, yet another secret. You have me, the secret plan B. Not that I mind, you've been through so much, I don't want to make things for you anymore complicated," he looked at the watch and got up.

"You should head to sleep, tomorrow you're gonna return to your friends," he opened the door, and I stopped in front of it. I turned around to face him, knowing I might just be screwing everything the scientists have worked for. Because no one suspected I was going to happen, because I was the unpredictable one.

I reached up to my tippy toes, since he was about 5'10.

And I was right in front of him, pulling his face down towards mine. Staring into his coal grey eyes and brushing his hair away.

Was I really going to do this? I sighed, and closed my eyes.

I kissed him on the cheek. My lips barely touched his cheek, and it lingered for a second. Just one second. It wasn't a real kiss, it was a small one though, and I wouldn't count that as my first kiss. But it was something. I pulled away quickly, my face most likely pink as I walked out of the room. The door closed, but before that I heard one sentence.

"I'll be there to catch you if you fall."