Not a Normal Fanfic (1D)

Chapter 39: Detour

A/N- A perfect song for this chapter is I'm Through by Ingrid Michaelson. It's a gorgeous song and the lyrics are just perfect!

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~3 days later~

I splashed water on my face, wiping it away almost instantly. Looking at my reflection, my face contorted into one of confusion.

What was I even doing anymore? My liking for Niall has practically dissipated. I'm starting to think that it was never real in the first place.

Okay, let me rephrase that. It was real, when Louis was involved, but now it's not.

It feels as though right after Niall and I began going out my feelings just left the building, and the entire world for that matter.

But even that one afternoon where we... did things, I'm not so sure about that either. Truthfully, I think it was just a way to forget about my ex.

The worst part about this all, that day definitely included, is that I'm regretting every single bit. I should not have ever done this to someone as nice as Niall, since I'm practically playing him. The poor sap doesn't have a single clue.

God, how could I do this? He's so into me and the feeling isn't even mutual.

Don't get me wrong, I really did enjoy that one day but it is the most regretted thing I've ever done in my entire life, and I've done some idiotic things. I only wanted to satisfy myself but that ended up leading on an innocent guy.

All I see is a monster in my reflection. In fact, it's even less than a monster. It's just an unknown creature trapped behind the glass.

I've dug myself down into a hole so deep that I couldn't ever escape.

"You almost out soon?" Niall yelled through the door.

My heart clenched at the voice. Time to just lead him on even more? What choice do I even have at this point? I either keep leading him on like the monster I am or break his heart into a bunch of bite size pieces. They both sound awful.

"Yeah," I grabbed onto the doorknob, exhaling deeply. Twisting it, I said, "I'm out."

"Good, Larsy. I was starting to get worried." Niall beamed, grabbing onto my hand. Putting on a fake smile, I followed where he was walking us to.

"Remember that afternoon where we did some stuff," he reminisced, "-some amazing stuff?" Coincidental, huh?

I nodded. "Yeah." It's always fun to remember the times that I've played him the most. Hehe, note the sarcasm.

"We never actually did something like that again, yeh know?" His hands snaked around my waist, pulling me even closer to him on my bed. I looked up as his dark blue eyes casted down on my face. I could feel his warm breath fanning across my cheeks. His eyes flickered from my eyes to my lips as he subtly leaned forward.

Snapping out of my trance, I lightly pulled away. "I can't."

Narrowing his eyes in confusion, he questioned, "Why not? Do you regret doing the things we did?"

Yes. "No, of course not," I lied straight through my teeth. "I just," I paused, attempting to think of words I could say. "I just don't think we should. I don't wanna be one of those couples, you know, the type that is usually seen in bed."

"Oh," he simply said.

"And plus it's almost like we're kinda moving too fast. I just don't think I'm ready."

"Shit, Lars, I had no idea you felt this way. You're absolutely right!" Pecking me on the cheek, he wrapped his arm around my shoulder, bringing me even closer to him.