Daily Malec Fix (Wattys 2017)

21. I Need you to be Strong

A/N Okay, so this is bits of what actually happened. Skip over the italics if you don't want to read it, but it's not gruesome. I made sure of that it's just heartbreaking. Hence why I needed so much sleep after writing all of this yesterday...emotionally drained and now I feel so much lighter having this out of my system. (The Strays by Sleeping with Sirens came on for this part)

"Where's Magnus?" Alec asked, sitting up quickly when he noticed that it was Sebastian and the same friends from earlier.

"Make a sound and he's dead." Sebastian hissed in a voice that would scare the devil himself.

"What do you want?" Alec asked him. "Look, I'm sorry. You can hit me back. I deserve it, but leave Magnus out of this."

"Hear that boys?" Sebastian looked back at them as one of them closed the door. Alec's last look outside was of Raj looking terrified.

"I can hit him as long as I don't hurt his precious fag boyfriend." Sebastian laughed, but it sounded more like chalk scratching the chalkboard.

"You're disgusting." A guy with black hair said and slapped Alec across the face. Alec didn't flinch. He just looked at them with malice in his eyes.

"Did you really just slap him?" Sebastian gave the guy a disgusted look.

"What? It's more insulting." The guy shrugged and a blonde guy smacked him.

"You're an idiot." The blonde laughed.

"I need to go." Alec said and stood up.

"You're not going anywhere until I say you can." And the last thing Alec saw was Sebastian fist coming at him.

Alec tried to scream from the pain when he started to wake up, but he couldn't. He couldn't even move. He tried to open his eyes but he couldn't. What was happening to him? Was he dead? Would death really hurt this badly?

He heard voices but couldn't make them out. He just felt the pain. It was searing and impossible to handle. He welcomed the blackness.

The next thing he knew, he could hear Magnus. He tried to move, but it was so hard. He just wanted to sleep. He wanted to die, why wasn't he dead?

"I-" He muttered and opened his eyes. He knew they were open but he couldn't see anything. Why couldn't he see Magnus? Why could he only feel the pain?

"Alec, are you okay?" Magnus asked with true fear in his voice. The fear scared Alec almost more than the pain did. "Alec?"

"I-" Alec tried to speak up but he couldn't. Everything was still so groggy.

"Oh my God. What did they do to you? Who did this?" Magnus grabbed Alec's hands and tugged trying to pull him up into a sitting position. "Who did this, Alec?"

"I-" Alec stuttered again but still he couldn't get anything else out. It was like he was underwater.

"We need to get you cleaned up." Magnus stood up pulling Alec with him. Alec felt like a ragdoll, he had no control. His heart tore out when he heard the pain in Magnus's voice. "Alexander,"

They fell back to the floor and Alec prayed for death.

"I will make them pay. Tell me who it was." Magnus whispered with such fire in his voice that Alec was surprised that he didn't feel the heat. But all he felt was cold as he passed out again.

"Drink up." Magnus whispered as he poured a fiery liquid down Alec's throat.

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"Alec?" Magnus wiped at the tears that had started falling down Alec's cheeks. He knew that he was thinking of that night. He knew as soon as he had said drink up. Damn it, why had he said it? Of course, how was he supposed to know what would trigger him?

"Mags, I think I need a break." Alec said and Dyson stopped right before Alec jumped up. He left the room and ran to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

"Care to explain?" Dyson gave Magnus a worried look.

"That night," Magnus ran his fingers through his hair. "I found him. I-I-I."

He swallowed hard. "I-It was my fault."

"Did you carve those things into his arms?" Dyson asked him.

"I might as well have. I left him."

"Why?"

"To get us some drinks. He wanted to go to his place but I knew if we went there we'd jump into sex and I didn't want to rush it. I wanted to make sure we weren't just caught up in the moment."

"Sounds like you love him."

"I do."

"It's not your fault. You can see that right? If you had stayed maybe you'd both be broken, but you saved him. You helped him heal."

"We haven't talked in six months. I was pissed because I thought he hated me. I don't deserve him." Magnus said just as Alec walked back into the room. (Rainbow by Kesha is their healing song!)

"Magnus Fucking Bane. If I ever hear you say something like that about yourself again I'll beat you into a fucking pulp. Do you understand?" Alec declared with such force in his voice Magnus could do nothing but nod. Alec kneeled in front of him and put a hand on each of his cheeks not caring if he saw the scars or not.

"Good. Because you are the only, I repeat, only reason that I am here in this place, alive. If not for you I would have killed myself long before those bastards touched me. You always act so strong that I forget that you're human and not some guardian angel or alien, or whatever the fuck else there is. For that I'm sorry. But, please, I need you to be strong just a little longer because I'm really scared and hurting. After this I promise that I'll be strong and you can cry all you want. I'll have my shoulder ready for your tears and my ears ready to listen." Alec kissed Magnus's forehead and sat back down.

"Can you please start working on the other arm? My left one needs a break." Alec asked calmly.

"Of course." Dyson took his outstretched arm and prepped it. "I was thinking of doing a similar thing on this side."

"That works for me." Alec smiled. "And do you think you could fit in a phrase?"

"Sure. What do you want it to say?"

A/N Okay, so who else is in love with Alec even more right now? I can't tell you how much I loved writing this scene even through the tears.  Also, 50 votes and 70 comments for the next update just because maybe that will give me some time to set it up.

Question: What's a phrase that helps you deal with life?