her way ✰ (dallas winston x reader)

chapter 56 - no more

~your p.o.v~

Thump.

I didn't understand why my immediate coping mechanism with traumatic experiences was violence and anger, but it helped.

I swung my fists harshly at the punching bag in the garage, letting everything out. I was mad. Bitter.

My mother gave up because apparently the family she had left just wasn't enough. Clearly she had a favorite child.

And my father had the audacity to coldly tell me of my mother's death and walk out all in the same two minutes.

Thump thump.

I kept punching, blinded by anger. How could my dad do this to me? He left me alone and in one of the most inconvenient situations ever.

I knew I'd have to leave and figure out a plan, but I just wanted to keep punching. Keep practicing.

"Just keep practicing. It's the hard way, but it's the right way to become a pro."

My brother's voice rang out in my mind and I squeezed my eyes shut, the memories all flooding back.

My swings faltered momentarily, but I kept going despite the burning feeling in my arms and the stress in my mind.

I stopped, my chest heaving. I had been letting my anger out for a while now.

I knew I had to get out of here. I was trying to hold onto memories. Now, this was just a house. A broken home.

This was all that was left of the family that once lived here.

And I didn't plan on sticking around and letting the amount of memories in this house tear me down.

I opened the door that led inside of the house and slammed it behind me. I went over to and up the stairs.

I was about to storm into my room when I couldn't help but pause once I reached the hallway with my room, my parents's room, and Bob's room I stopped.

Everything hurt. I never thought I'd miss them. We never truly acted like a family, but they were the people I had known my whole life.

There'd be no more. No more hearing my dad and Bob talk about sports. No more of Mom worrying about how late Bob and I'd stay out. No more meaningless bickering with Bob. No more teasing Bob and Cherry when they'd do cute couple things.

No more Dad, no more Mom, and no more Bob.

I took a deep breath and walked into Bob's room. I quickly took his Letterman's jacket and hurried to my room.

I slammed the door behind me, rushing to pack my things. I grabbed clothing, basic things I'd need.

I went into the bathroom and grabbed things like my toothbrush, makeup, deodorant, etc.

I shoved all of it into my duffel bag.

I had to get out of here.

-

I knocked on the door of the Curtis house, adjusting the duffel bag on my shoulder.

The door opened and Ponyboy stood there. He smiled when he saw me, but his smile faltered when he took a closer look at my expression. I must've looked horrible.

"You okay, Y/n?" He asked as he stepped aside. I entered and he shut the door.

"I... Not really." I answered honestly.

I looked around and noticed the whole gang was here. I was surprised, considering it was a weekday and it was the early afternoon.

"I'm surprised everyone's here. I thought you, Steve, and Two-bit had school. And Darry and Sodapop usually have work, right?" I turned to Ponyboy. I knew Johnny went to school with us too, I'd see him in the hallways very rarely. I didn't have any classes with him and he skipped school most of the time. I also only had one class with Steve and we sat across the room from each other in the class. I had no classes with Ponyboy since he was only a freshman.

"The whole gang's just kind of taking a break. Ever since the fire everyone's been a little shaken up." Ponyboy explained.

My gaze wandered to Johnny, who's foot was in a cast. He had his foot lazily propped up on a pillow, his gaze on the TV.

I was glad to see him safe.

"Anyways, what happened?"

"I... I don't got anywhere to live anymore. My dad walked out after my mom k-killed herself earlier. I don't even know what happened, man! I just got there and my dad was packing up and he just left. I guess my mom just... Couldn't handle it anymore. And my dad just wanted to leave. He left without a second thought! He just left me, knowing full well I was too young to live on my own. I'm assuming my dad took all of our money from the bank when he ran off, so I never would've been able to even pay the bills for the house anyway. I came to ask if I could crash here, at least for a night. I still need to get a job so I can support myself-"

"I'll sleep on the couch. I'm sure Soda wouldn't mind if you took the bed in our room." Ponyboy cut me off. He had a look of worry written all over his face, and his eyes were glassy.

"A-are you sure? I could take the couch or the floor-"

"No, you've had a rough couple days. It's the least we could do." Ponyboy gave me a reassuring smile. I felt my eyes begin to water.

I pulled Ponyboy into a tight hug and he clearly seemed surprised. He eased into the hug and embraced me tightly back.

I looked around at the boys and most of them seemed surprised by my words.

"Your mom's dead?" Johnny asked in shock, sitting up and now focusing on me. I nodded, an aching feeling in my heart.

"Gee, Y/n. I'm real sorry." Johnny spoke sincerely. Sodapop stayed quiet, but the look in his eyes expressed something. He was familiar with having close family members die tragically. He knew what it was like to go from everything being fine, to suddenly having neither parents.

We locked eyes and seemed to have a moment of understanding. For a moment, it felt like it was just us two in the room.

I broke eye contact with Sodapop when Two-bit wrapped a comforting arm around my shoulders.

"I know I don't understand fully what you must be dealing with but... My dad walked out on my family. It's hard to deal with people just randomly up and leaving.

I nodded, sighing. I had so much going on in my head. I was barely able to cope with Bob's death, but now this all felt like too much.

It felt like everything was slipping through my fingers.

Everything except the gang, who seemed to be the only people who have been around for me lately.