How love found me (Niall Horan)

chapter 63: the end

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> A few days later I'm sitting on the bed in my room. Niall is in his room sleeping. I know hes sleeping because hes not awake and playing his guitar. We haven't talked much. I want to I just don't know how. So its been weird and awkward and I hate it. I guess its my fault not doing much. But all I still really do is lay in bed. Niall doesn't come to feed me so once a day I make a move to go downstairs and get some food. I don't blame him for not coming anymore. I wouldn't come for me either. Everyone will say hi to me and then I'll eat and go back upstairs.

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> Its an odd feeling knowing that the person you love is falling out of love with you. How do I know this?maybe because he doesn't make an effort anymore. I'm not much either. But thats only because I don't want to bug him I don't want to make his life harder. Its already hard enough. I just don't want to add to his pain. I feel so needy and helpless. And maybe I am. But I can't ask Niall to always be the one to catch me.

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> I'm feeling more and more like I'm slipping away from everyone. But with Niall, I don't know what to do. I could talk to him. I should talk to him. It would help. I sit up and move to the door. I open mine and turn so I'm standing in front of Niall's. I put my hand on the handle and stop. What if he doesn't want me to talk to him?Will he hate me? I've got to be causing him pain. Just as I'm about to turn and walk away the door opens. Niall is standing there and looking at me. I state up at him and fight back tears.

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> "I'm sorry." He says. "Me too." I don't want to let go of him. Hes so sweet and perfect. But then again maybe I should let him go and be with someone who deserves him. But thinking of him with someone else hurts so bad.

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> "So.." He says.

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> "Niall," I start but don't know where to go. He looks at me like I've gone stupid. Maybe I have.

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> "Carson, I think things are falling apart." He says his eyes looking at something behind me.

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> "I know."I say to him.

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> "We aren't working." His words shock me.

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> "What?" My voice is weak.

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> "Well we aren't. We don't talk and when we did, we fought."He says and I instantly go defensive.

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> "Niall! We weren't fighting. You got angry and I don't know why!" I start trying to explain.

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> "You should, I stayed by your side for almost 5 weeks and then you wake up and come home to sleep more.I can understand your upset, your hurt and heartbroken. So am I! I'm hurting too!"

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> "I never said you weren't! I never say that! You got mad and all defensive and then left me in the cold! Now your saying we were fighting. I don't see how." I tell him

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> "Now you going to try and fight about if we were fighting? Carson! How can you not see how crazy this is! We made a promise to always talk! And now your hiding away from your problems! I tried to give you time and I have been. I've been thinking that you'll come around and me too and maybe we can be like we were. But I just don't see that happening." He confesses shaking his head.