The Girl who Survived (Fred Weasley)

CH 25. Feelings Return

My dearest, Tulip,
I hope this letter reaches you before I do. I wanted to make sure you knew where my feelings for you remain. I find myself struggling in being away from you, and I would like you to know that I'm missing you like crazy right now! I almost returned to you the other day, but you know my father, he convinced me that the heart would only grow fonder. But Elodie, I don't know how it's possible for me to be any more in love with you than I already am. I miss the warmth of your arms and the gentle touch of your fingers running through my hair. I miss your fresh breath and the way you smell of vanilla and strawberries. I find myself realizing, a letter is not enough. I look forward to the day of my return when I can hear your voice again. I know I have said that you are free to let your heart lead you in whichever direction it may. I just needed you to know that I hope, what you feel and what your heart tells you, leads you back to me.
With love always,
Your Cedric

~Elodie's POV~

          The words rang loud through my mind the entire day. When the twins and Mr. Weasley went to pick up Harry from the Dursleys, I asked Mrs. Weasley to take me to my house so I could pack quickly for school. She was in the kitchen all day, so Bill took Ginny and I with Charlie in tow. Unlike last time, it was Ginny that picked up my mail.
          "A letter! From Mr. Diggory! Oh, Elodie is it a letter of him professing his love?" Ginny asked excitedly.
           I didn't have the heart to tell her it most likely was. While she enjoyed living vicariously through me, at some point she would have to tire of her brothers pinning for me. What made it worse was that over the course of summer, though subtle, I hadn't rejected their advances. All the looks that lasted too long, the hand touches that lingered, the hugs that were a bit too close. The constant jumping between Fred and George, and the blunt declaration that I had it in me to be selfish enough to want them both.
          "You get ahead of yourself Gin," I told her before heading into Minerva's office after bringing my trunk down.
          "It's been a whole summer, is this the first you've heard from him?" She asked me to press the situation. I could feel Bill and Charlie's eyes on me through.
         "He's been sending postcards, this is the second letter, but I'm sure it's about the same as the first," I told her, careful to not reveal too much.
           "And? Come on, as much as I'd love for you to be my sister on me day, you two are perfect together!" She asked me, more excited for an answer.
           "We'd better head back, Harry will be there soon," I said and wiggled my eyebrows at her.
             The truth was, I didn't know what I wanted yet. In my head I was still going back and forth on what the right thing to do was. Yes, I had been able to distract myself enough to not spend my days moping over what the future held for me and Cedric but that was just it. I distracted myself. At the end of each day, though I wanted someone to hold me, I wanted Cedric to be the one to kiss me good night. The downside, I knew I didn't need it. I wanted to keep him in my life, but if we were to end things he wouldn't want to be friends the same way anymore. I knew that if enough time passed I'd be alright.  And ultimately, that was the answer that we were both searching for. I just refused to admit it.
           We had all been crammed into the tiny living room of The Burrow, so we decided to have dinner in the garden to give each other more space. I sat with Harry on one side of me and Bill on the other. It felt like a real family dinner, one that Harry, and I had never had before. I knew that we both shared the appreciation and hoped that there would be millions more to come.
That night, Ginny and I shared a bed like we had the entire summer and  hundreds of times before. We would have used an extra bed, but Hermione was arriving in the morning, so we didn't bother. I woke up for the first time just after midnight with a migraine and terrible feeling, like something bad was coming. Even though I felt myself tossing and turning after I didn't disturb Ginny who was deep into her slumber. The heat of early summer passed, and the cold kiss of the night air was causing my teeth to chatter.
          After laying there for what felt like hours, I decided I couldn't tolerate it anymore. Careful not to disturb my sleeping girl, I walked out of the room with a blanket wrapped around my shoulders and made my way to the kitchen for some tea. I quickly realized I wasn't the only one having trouble sleeping as the words from the kitchen reached my ears.
          "So, which one of you blokes carries the torch?" The familiar voice of Bill said.
          There was a long moment of silence where not even the wind hitting the house dared to make a noise.
          "Must you both do everything together?" Bill spoke again. I felt like I could hear his eyes rolling from where I stood.
          "Can you blame them? She's one hell of a girl, not bad on the eyes either, isn't that right Freddieboy?" Charlie said.
            "You have no idea," The twins spoke.
         Was I really listening to this? I knew I shouldn't eavesdrop; I was bound to hear something I hated eventually. Just like the saying goes.
           "And what do you plan on doing if she picks one of you over the other? Surely, she wouldn't have you both," Bill said, sounding a bit more scolding. There it was, a long pause, and what I didn't want to hear. Oh, Godric, what would their family think of me?
       "Blimey! Saucy little minx Isn't she," Charlie said more excited than before. "How did you find out about each other?" He continued, and another silence fell on the room. I sat on the step with careful precision and let my forehead drop to my knees in embarrassment. "No...She was with both of you...at the same time!" Charlie boomed with excitement.
         "Will you pipe down?" The twins said together in a loud whisper.
          "You'll wake the entire house," Fred said.
          "And it was only a few kisses," George finished.
          At the volume they were reaching they were closer to waking the dead. I hadn't thought about that night in a while. Not because of the shame or that sort of thing, but because I had been distracted by everything else going on that it really did slip my mind.
           "The fact that any girl is willing to put up with one of you is hard enough to believe. But Elodie Potter! Putting up with the both of you no less. Want my advice, you should keep her as a friend. Godric knows that girl has been through enough, she must want friends and family more than a boyfriend," Bill said, reasoning with them. He wasn't talking me down, just pointing out the fact that it was better to not risk our friendship, which was true. I completely agreed with the logic to it.
          "It's not that easy," George said.
          "Why is that? Can't keep your eyes off her Georgie?" Charlie asked him.
           "Freddie?" Bill asked.
          I heard a chair screech then footsteps heading away from where I sat so I knew I was still safe.
         "She's different. You know other than George, I'd never been so close to anyone. The first time that I saw her, I swear it was like... and she's smart, Godric, she's the smartest person I've ever met, and she doesn't even try. And she's never mixed up me and George, she can always tell us apart. And she's kind, damnit she's kind to everyone. She does these little things. And she just draws you in, you've seen it, it doesn't take much. She's the best person I know," Fred said.
          I felt like I couldn't breathe. Literally, if I were to inhale it would do nothing for me. What he was describing wasn't me, it was the feeling Cedric described to me. The feeling I couldn't seem to grasp. The person they thought I was.
          "You know there's a word for that dearest brother?" Bill said with a little laugh in his voice.
          "Well he went and made a real mess of things unfortunately," George answered for him.
          "It was right after the kiss. I was angry. We got into a fight which led to me yelling at her. I told her it was her fault I had so many notches on my belt, I blamed her for that. Then I told her I didn't want to see her with any man that wasn't me. No wonder she'd rather be with Diggory, I bet he never yells or loses his temper like that. I want her to be happy, it's just—" Fred's answer was barely more than a whisper. He still felt ashamed for what he had said to me.
          "I take it she was still with that boy of hers when this happened?" Bill asked.
          "In my other half's defense, we assumed they had broken up. She had spent her days upset and crying and wouldn't say why," George said.
           "We should have known that wasn't the case. She'd never linger on something so trivial if that was the case. I mean if she would...just let me in!" Fred said. There was a loud bang, meaning he must have hit something.
          "Easy there, what about now? Are they still together? The way she spoke the other night it didn't sound definitive," Charlie asked and was met by silence.
          I felt a building pressure behind my eyes, but it wasn't like the shift from my "almost" visions. No, it felt more devious. I felt sick to my stomach and cold sweat building on the back of my neck and under my nose. I smelled gunpowder and rose from where I stood not wanting to hear anymore. I made sure my steps would be heard, even put extra pressure on the creaky side of the stair and walked closer to the kitchen.
          "What's going on? I heard a loud bang," I told them as I rushed in. They all looked at me in shock as they wee trying to decide how much of their conversation it was that I heard.
         "Tea?" Bill asked as he walked over to the kettle.
         "Please," I said.
         "Have a seat," he said.
          I walked over and took the seat that was still at the table, placing me next to Charlie and in front of the twins. Bill handed me a mug with tea. I reached over to put a splash of milk and a sugar cube in it.
           "Couldn't sleep?" Bill asked from his chair.
          "Mmm, I'm freezing. And I feel a bit of a migraine coming on," I answered them.
          "Don't let mum hear you say that. She'll say it's cause you're too skinny," George said to me with a chuckle in his voice.
          I felt another shiver go up my spine giving me goosebumps. I pulled the blanket closer to my body to give me more warmth as I snuggled into the chair, but it didn't help much. I looked up and saw Charlie and bill shouting at the twins with their eyes, scrunching their faces and everything before quickly looking away and resting my head against the back of the chair.
          "I don't know if it was a nightmare, or what. But I just had this feeling that something bad was going to happen today," I told them, not  looking up to meet anyone's eyes. "Blimey what time is it?" I asked.
          "Just after 4," George answered.
          "Mmm, Hermione will be here soon. I should go get dressed and wake Ginny," I told him as I set my mug down. It was the day of the Quidditch World Cup.

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