Siblings

31- Malcolm.

⚠️Suicide attempt ⚠️

Don't read if easily triggered!

I looked at the small bottle. The needle was next to it. Tears were in my eyes.

It was his birthday today. To add on to the fact that me and the siblings got into a huge fight. Over what? Over something dumb. Over me living in Italy. They were scared I was going to die or whatever and they couldn't come in time. They wouldn't know until it was too late. It was a few days ago when it happened. Killian wasn't here so I had time. I knew I did. He was busy. Killing someone.

I took a deep breath and slowly let it out. A new batch of tears started streaming down my face. A sob escapes my lips.

The kids were with Gwen. They were celebrating his birthday. I couldn't do it. I really couldn't do it today. I had the death of him and our unborn child on my hands.

I remember when Malcolm was so fucking happy when we found out we were expecting again. I remember when we got to see our baby on the ultrasound. We didn't know what it was. We were doing that surprise shoot thing. I remember that exact day. Gwen and Bethany got the kids to wear the colored t-shirts the baby was. Blue for a boy, or purple for a girl. They were wearing two different colors. We were expecting twins. I remember crying. I remember him crying too. He was so goddamn happy. He wanted another boy. I wanted another girl. We were getting two little humans.

A sob escapes my lips. I slid down the wall, trying to catch my breath.

I remember when we were fighting over names one night. The kids were asleep and we were just playing around. That was the night I got to experience one of them to kick. I burst into tears, making Malcolm scared that he hurt my feelings. He immediately came over to me and hugged me. He felt the kicks too. He leaned back and stared in my eyes. I remember saying, 'did you feel that?' We were so excited. We were like little kids on christmas day.

I gripped my hair, trying to get rid of the memories. I shook my head, closing my eyes as tight as I could, trying to get them out.

I remember why we crashed that night. It was all my fault. Everything is my fault. We got into a huge fight. We went at it for days on end. We sent the kids to Bethany's. We were fighting about my family and to tell them about the kids. I didn't want to. That night we went out driving, we were doing fine. We weren't fighting. It was peaceful. Then he told me he cheated on me. It was a spur of the moment. I remember crying, telling him I hated him. I wanted to walk home. I told him to pull over. He did. He fucking did. We didn't see the drunk driver. I was too busy yelling at him. I was too busy telling him that I hated him. The person crashed into us, making us flip over once then twice. A piece of glass went into his stomach straight into his lung.

I covered my mouth, sobbing even more. I stood up, grabbing the dilaude. I put the needle into the thing, pulling it out. I put it in my vein, and shot up. I did it again. I did way too much and I knew it too. I looked in the mirror, seeing my red cheeks and red eyes. I shook my head. I covered my ears trying to block out the noise. The yelling. Blocking out everything.

I remember him saying it was when I was pregnant with Adaline. He wanted it off his chest. He told me he loved me. I didn't say anything, just trying to make his eyes open. I didn't tell him I loved him back. I was too busy telling him that I hated him.

Everything went black.

Lucian's pov

I ran my hand through my hair, once again. I started pacing again, making Blake sigh.

"Luc, just sit down." She whispered. I didn't say anything, sitting down next to her. She leaned her head on my shoulder. I bounced my leg, looking at my watch.