Fitting In (Lonely Levi x Reader)

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It had been a few months since Furlan and Isabel died. Although Levi had willingly chosen to stay with the Scout Regiment, he hadn't really connected with anyone here, hadn't really wanted to. He was afraid to go through the pain of losing friends again, and on top of that, he didn't feel like he fit in with the rest of the soldiers. He wasn't one to share personal details, he didn't enjoy getting drunk and doing stupid things to blow off steam, and growing up in the Underground meant he had nothing in common with these surface-dwellers.

Hanji was one of the few who made an effort with him. The energetic squad leader always invited him to go out drinking with everyone, and always, he declined – opting to spend the evening alone. Yet, that quickly became monotonous, and the emptiness inside him only grew stronger.

He hated himself for it – this desire, need, for even just one person he could consider a friend. Someone who would understand without him having to explain. Someone he didn't have to hide parts of himself from. Someone who would do something as simple as sitting with him in silence during these lonely nights, and thus make them a little less lonely.

He didn't think he would find that among the Scouts – not from what he'd seen, anyway. And he knew well enough that being surrounded by a large group could feel equally as lonely as an empty room. However, as he sat in that empty room, night after night, he was starting to think, maybe...just maybe...going out with the others wouldn't be so bad.

"Hey, Levi!" Hanji chimed as she approached him in the mess hall just as dinner was ending. "It's Friday night, and you know what that means! We're all going out, and you're coming with us!"

"Okay," he muttered quietly.

"Come on, don't be so quick to – wait, what did you say?"

"Tch," he hissed, scoffing at her automatic assumption that he'd refuse – though he couldn't exactly blame her for it. "I said 'okay'. I'll go with you."

"What?" the brunette exclaimed, her eyes practically bugging out of her head. Then her surprise was gone, replaced by an enormous grin. "That's great! Everyone'll be so excited! Oh, and we're meeting at the front doors in fifteen. No backing out, okay?"

"Whatever," he grumbled, already feeling drained by her unending enthusiasm.

Levi used the small bit of time to take his dishes to the cleaning area, then return to his quarters to prepare. Several other male soldiers were already present, chatting and laughing while they changed into civilian clothing for the evening. They didn't so much as look at Levi as he walked to his own bunk and unlocked the small chest that contained his personal belongings.

He had only one set of non-military clothing, and his fingers stopped when they touched the fabric, hesitating. He'd cleaned off all the stains from when Miche had shoved him into the mud, obviously. But...even spotless, were they good enough for the surface?

He silently cursed himself for that small twinge of insecurity as he pulled the clothes from the chest. It didn't matter, anyway. They were the only option available, so he'd wear them, and that was that. No use worrying about it.

He changed quickly before heading down to the entrance hall, where many soldiers had already gathered. They were standing in pairs or small groups, talking excitedly, obviously eager for a chance to blow off steam. And as he observed them...he paused on the edge of the crowd, not knowing what to do, where to go. But he did know that if he tried to join one of those happy little groups, it would just make things awkward for everyone.

"Levi! Yoohoo! Over here! Levi!"

He winced, wondering if it would be better to remain an outcast than to be dragged into whatever Hanji was doing. However, he knew the longer he kept her waiting, the more annoyingly insistent she would become. With a sigh, he turned toward the sound of her voice.

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