Angel Of Dawn

⋆↟•─────⋅☾³⁷☽⋅─────•↟⋆

Blaire 》

I watch him disappear behind the bathroom walls after disposing of the rubber. I hold onto the counter behind me because my legs are shaking too bad to support me right now. My vision blurs, eyeballs burning with that devastating familiar feeling of failure. I can't stay with him a minute longer. Even if it costs me my reputation and my friends.

The whole time, I was screaming, crying, hitting and then I gave up when he'd slapped me hard enough to knock a tooth or two loose.

I wash my face with cold water before my tears begin to fall down for what feels like the millionth time today. My eyeballs feel dry, like they need some moisture to lubricate them again.

I dry my face and button my jeans back. I'd managed to get him to shower, it feels like all I need right now is to be completely alone. After ruining my relationship with practically everyone I know, I feel like I don't deserve anyone's company anymore. He kept trying to talk me into coming with him into the shower, but there was no way I'd agree to that. It's a good thing he didn't force me to do that, too.

I hear the shower start running and a rush of relief hits me. Along with my reality. I topple to the ground, the pain between my legs being just too much. I couldn't help my sobs as they pour out of me. My hand covers my mouth as soon as my crying becomes too loud. I holds my legs tightly together, feeling way too exposed. My legs are bare, my arms and my chest and stomach. I feel naked despite being fully clothed. I feel utterly and repulsively naked and dirty.

I cover my face entirely, ugly crying to the point where there isn't an option to be quiet anymore. I hug my legs close to me, trying to shrink myself into nothing but failing. I sob.

I sob and sob and I sob so hard that I start scratching my throat to catch my breath. Banging on the floor and thrashing as I feel no more air in my lungs.

Finally, I draw a huge breath in and I let it out in louder, more frantic sobs.

"Baby cakes! You're still here right?" Jake shouts from the bathroom, making me bite down on my bottom lip to quiet my crying.

"Yeah." I say, I tried to say it louder than that but my voice trembling, my hiccups too much, not granting me the favor of a stable voice.

"Huh? Blaire!" He shouts, I could already imagine his crazed eyes from inside the bathroom.

"I'm still here!" I yell, crying loudly, not caring if he heard it or not.

"Of course you are. No one can resist all this." He drawls from inside.

I need to get out of here. That was only the beginning and god knows what else he's hiding for me. From his drawl, I just know nothing better awaits me.

I need to get out of here before I find out what it is.

But I can't walk properly, and I can't stop my tears enough to see through them. I feel so hurt, so damn hurt because stupidly enough, I never thought he'd go this far. I feel so ashamed of myself for what I've done, for letting it go this far and letting him use me like that. For lying to Levi and telling him to go when all I ever want is to be safely in his arms.

This is all my damn fault for ever thinking I was doing the right thing. I'm at fault for what Jake did to me. Because no idiot would obey a psycho like Jake and I did. I'm worse than an idiot.

I'm a victim of Jake and it's my fault.

Busy trying to breathe normally again so I wouldn't have a full on panic attack, I almost miss the loud noise coming from inside the bathroom. It startles the living shit out of me, causing me to jolt further away from the door.