Angel Of Dawn

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Blaire 》

My mom would always take me to get my birthday gifts. Part of the reason wasn't that she didn't know what I liked, but that she knew I enjoyed picking out my own gifts. I felt like a princess that owned the whole world. She would then wrap them and I had to act surprised everytime it was time to reveal the gift so my father wouldn't know about the whole scheme. Another reason was that my father didn't really buy me birthday gifts, his gift was always the birthday cake.

I'd notice my mom sneaking in a few dolls into the cart to pretend it was from him so I wouldn't be sad. I don't think she knew I'd known, and if I could go back in time, I wouldn't change a single thing.

He would sometimes get pissed that my mom keeps buying so many toys every year, but he would just laugh and smile his way through the day and later talk to my mom about it. He'd talk to her gently and walk away silently when he's angry so he wouldn't hurt her feelings. He was never cruel to me like he is now, but I think a big part of it was the loss of his soul-mate.

A part of me understands why he is the way he is, but at the same time, I also lost the biggest part of my life. And when he was supposed to be there for me, he pushed me away and treated me like I was the sole reason she was gone.

I catch myself looking around in public, seeing little girls running around and laughing with their dads and talking to them and just overall spending quality time with their dads. I know I should be happy goodness still exists in the world, but I just can't help it when my tears start to flow and I feel genuine hatred toward my father.

I don't know why my father turns into a monster when it comes to me, but I don't think that even if I did, I'd excuse the way he treats me when I suffered the same loss, if not worse than his.

I don't know why I'm thinking about my father right now when today has been one of the best days I've had ever since my mom died. Levi went above and beyond to make me happy, I can't let my father ruin my mood just because I thought about him.

Levi and I spent all night decorating and arranging my books in my new book space. About the kiss...

More like kisses.

I think Levi had been with enough women in his life to the point where kissing is just a normal, casual thing to him now. I had to refrain from jumping around like an idiot because that would show just how not normal and casual kissing was for me. I didn't miss the many glances he sent my way while he laid my books where I'd ordered him to. I'd make piles based on the author and the order of the series and he'd put them on the shelves I couldn't quite reach.

We worked like that till it was dawn, him brushing against me every now and then I would pretend this was just my typical Friday night.

I don't know how I lasted so much time awake, I seriously didn't know I had it in me to last four days without sleep, but I did it. I didn't even think about sleep until I sat down on the lounge chair. This chair might as well be a queen sized bed with how comfy and big it is.

"You look tired." Levi states the most obvious thing as he walks up to be, taking a seat by the end of the lounge. "You have no idea." I say, yawning so big it's impossible to look feminine while doing so. He throws his head back, laughing at me as I make myself comfortable.

"I'm sure I would have laughed with you, but I don't think I'm capable of doing that with how exhausted I am right now." I rub my face, hoping to wipe away some of the sleepiness, but it does nothing at all.

He scoots closer to me and takes me in his arms. I hadn't known this lounge could get more comfortable, but it does instantly after I lay my head on Levi's chest. I let my eyes close for a second, imagining just how good of a sleep I could get when I'm in his arms.