Intertwined - Tangled series (Overprotective famous brothers)

Ruined

Alisha

It had been a week now. The pills didn’t seem to help much, but the internet said they did. Everyone said they did. Some of the leading models and actors told me themselves they did. They had to. They were my last hope.

I imagined my life without those pills working. I would get fatter, and everyone would point at me and laugh. I would become a joke, as if I already wasn’t. it would go from the frying pan and into the fire, but I had to stop it. The pills had to work. Maybe with my metabolism and exercise I would need more pills. I should take double the dosage.

“Lizzie!” Dimitri called me outside the gym and I went towards him.

“What’s wrong? You’ve never been so tired.” He probed into me with his wise eyes, his jaw clenched. His expression didn’t give out anything, but I knew him enough to know he was concerned.

“My numbers have been all over the place lately.” I lied to him and he nodded, telling me to talk to my doctor if it continued for long. This was just temporary, once I was thin enough, I could even pull off a Uno on uneven bars. Then I feeling miserable after every routine wouldn’t matter as much.

We wrapped up with training like everyday a little after four, and I went into my room. Someone had already gotten me some food, and I frowned seeing it. There were thousands of kids starving and here I was, about to waste the food. But I didn’t have much choice; this was the time I got selfish. Nobody in the world was empathetic, there was no mercy. I would have none for myself either, and I was going to give them what they wanted.

I opened a bag and carefully put all the food into it. Then, I threw the bag in the bottom of the bin, closing it. Nobody would know this way. I internally thanked my brothers for not installing cameras in rooms, and got into the shower. Standing in front of the mirror, I scrutinized my body. Bruises, curves, imperfections and flaws. I was a sad excuse of a girl. Sighing- something I had been doing a lot lately- I got into the shower to let the warm water calm the voices in my head down. It didn’t.

“Not again.” I groaned, looking at my phone. It pointed out my low oxygen levels in my body, partly because I didn’t have enough food in my system. Well, pulmonary fibrosis could kill me slowly, but I wasn’t letting fat kill me in an instant.

“Miss Alisha, Rajeev is here to see you.” Someone intercom-ed me and I mumbled curses under my breath. Rajeev was our chief financial officer for Being Human, and someone very close to us as a family. When people had told us not to invest in a NGO, but rather in a profit making business, he was the one who believed in us. He was the reason we were now able to earn and spend millions for the ones who needed our help.

“I’ll be there in five.” I wore clothes and made my way to the office, to the place where we always met.

“Miss Alisha.” He stood for me and I shook my head,

“Alisha.” He smiled, sitting down across me. All he needed to do was hand me some papers and get them proof-read once, which I already had on my laptop.

“Is it only me, or have you suddenly started looking like a diva?” he complimented me and I blushed, thanking him. So the pills were working. He was the third person telling me that I looked different. But my twitter people thought otherwise, I was still a ‘pig’ and ‘fat cow’ for them. So until I got thinner, better, I was off twitter.

“I thought Arbaaz asked you to change this clause.” I pointed out and he pinched the bridge of his nose, checking the papers.

“Got left out, sorry.” He made a note on his tab to change it and I rolled my eyes at him. He didn’t rebuttal back at me, just left soon after we were done. Didn’t even say goodbye. Wow, I must have hurt his little ego. But that was just something people had to deal with, the attitude I got from millions. When I started getting real, they got hurt. Nice.

I left the office and went into my room, with dinner already on the coffee table. Everyone around knew I hated eating at the dinner table alone, so they allowed me to eat in my room. I opened the MacBook and logged into Skype, almost smiling seeing Adrian online.

“Hey super girl.” He waved at me, yawning.

“Hey stud, who looks so hot even in messed up hair.” I giggled, seeing him trying to fix his dirty blonde mane. He didn’t need to, he was perfect for me. So perfect that I didn’t deserve him anymore. He had abs and toned muscles and an even complexion, with envious height and frame. Next to him, I would look like a pig.

“Well, I just got up.” He defended himself, and I nodded.

“Dinner?” he asked and I nodded, scrunching my nose.

“What’s wrong?” he raised his brow and I didn’t reply back. He was one of the few people who had taken notice of my reduce diet and weight loss, and didn’t like it. Well, maybe they loved to see me fat, but I didn’t.

“You haven’t been enjoying food. And that is your favorite food.” Yes, it was a typical Indian cuisine I loved a lot, and even made Adrian eat it once. It turned out to be too spicy for him, but at least that way he remembers my favorite dish forever. But tonight, even this food made me want to throw up. I wondered how many times had I consumed it, and how many carbs had I chewed in, fooled by the taste. Not anymore, no more carbs.  

“I’m just not hungry.” I lied and he sighed, giving up.

“Alright, I’m gonna rush now. Early practice.” He frowned and I smiled.

“Take care.” He nodded, blew me a kiss and the screen went black. I went and threw most of the food into the bin, only eating the carrot because it had 0% fat content. Then, I grabbed those pills, the pills that were helping me more than anyone ever could right now.

“Lizzie?” Mike came in, and I gulped in the pills, hiding the bottle under my sheets.

“You left this in the car.” He handed me my school assignments and I realized I had tons of school work to complete. All the piles and piles of utter gibberish I was certain would help me in no way other than get some grades, which in turn weren’t important in my world. In my world, it was beauty over brains.

“Fuck.” I mumbled, going through the sheets. This assignment would take two hours, minimum. And I wasn’t a genius, nor a focused person. It would take me three hours. And perhaps four, considering all wanted to do was sleep.

“Excuse me?” he raised his brows but I ignored him, throwing the sheets away. I wasn’t gonna be able to complete it, so why even go through the enormous hassle of even trying? I had better things to do in life than this. Like see how I could cut down on carbs, go work out more and bleed sweat off my skin.

“Young lady, you are not throwing your homework and manners away under my care.” He wagged his thick finger at me and I narrowed my eyes at him, switching of the lights.

“Watch me.” I pulled covers over me, but he snatched them away.

“I’m tired ok? My throat is Sahara desert right now. So just cut the crap, give me a punishment tomorrow and let me sleep.” I snapped at him and saw pity cross his features. I wasn’t lying, but he didn’t know the complete reason behind me struggling with low oxygen levels. He didn’t know I wasn’t eating, he also didn’t know that it was dangerously close to the time when the tears started falling. I couldn’t let anyone see them. Whenever I let people see my vulnerable, real side, I was ridiculed. It was better to hide that part and to put up a show for the world to enjoy. I was going to put on a mask, and nobody would be able to see through it.

“Well, here’s the deal. I get you some water and juices so you feel better, you try and work as much as you can and then take rest. But first of all, apologize.” He crossed his arms and stood before me, and I mumbled a ‘sorry’. He didn’t look pleased but let it slip past, going out and getting me some watermelon juice.

“Thanks.” He nodded at me and closed the door to my room, leaving me alone with the sheets. I read through them, solved precisely two and a half answers before I felt a tear slip down. I couldn’t even solve a dumb, eight grade physics question. No wonder everyone hated me.

 

I cringed and covered myself, my cries muffled by the pillow. Before I knew it, the pain magnified, it literally hurt inside my chest. More pain, more words said that punched me in the face repeatedly. Thousands of people, millions of words, one emotion – hate. Everyone hated me, and there came a point in life where I questioned everything. Soon, I realized that the majority is right. And I joined them, I hated myself.