kiribaku oneshots

🍫The Flowers That Grow In My Throat🍫

everytime i release an angst, its because im suffering, and i feel the need to force that suffering on other people

~~

I close my book. I'd just finished my 2nd book this week. I mean, when there's absolutely nothing to do while you're sick in the hospital, you end up reading a lot. Today is the 2nd day of the week.

I'm slowly running out of books to read. One of the nurses is getting me Les Miserables to read, so it'll occupy me longer.

I just put my book down on the table next to me when I taste a disgusting concoction in my mouth. I grab my trash can and throw up a mix of blood and flower petals into it.

Oh, yeah. I'm in the hospital for hanahaki.

I've been here for 3 weeks. I've been refusing to get surgery, so now I'm only here so the doctors can keep me alive, until I inevitably die, or my hanahaki goes away.

I'd prefer the latter. But, I'm most likely just going to plain die. Die cold and alone, surrounded by white, knowing the only person I've ever loved doesn't love me back and now hates me.

I could've dealt with the rejection. But he doesn't have to hate me. He could've just said that he doesn't like me that way, and left it at that. But, no. He just had to be an asshole.

I swing my legs over the side of my bed, putting on my socks and getting up to leave my room. I grab my book and leave.

As I walk down the hall, I see other patients, all of them strapped with bandages and IVs following close behind them. I mean, I'm the same. I just have fewer bandages, but I still have the metal rolley-thing with me.

I pass a new patient. It's obvious he's new, because he doesn't have bandages covering his flowers. So, he's sick with hanahaki. Hm.

We make brief eye contact as we pass each other.

"Hey, can I get another book?" I ask the lady at the front desk.

"Finished that one already?" She asks me. I nod my head. "Well, here. I finished this book a little bit ago, I think you'll like it." She hands me a book. It'll take me 2 to 3 days to finish this one.

"Thanks." I say. I start walking back to my room. The medicine the doctors give me makes me drowsy, so I'm getting really tired. I hold onto my IV for support while I walk.

The medicine doctors give me isn't really for my hanahaki. It's really for keeping me alive for as long as possible. Basically, I have to take insomnia meds, antidepressants, and these meds that make me more hungry than I am so I'll eat. They all are failing at their jobs.

I haven't eaten or slept in 4 days. I'm running on water right now. Also, the antidepressants just suck.

I walk into my room to see a nurse and the new patient I saw earlier.

"Oh!" The nurse exclaims when she hears me enter the room. "Perfect! You two are roommates. Get to know each other and be nice." The nurse stands up and leaves. I go over to my bed, sitting on it and taking off my socks, then lying on the bed and covering myself with blankets. I close my eyes, finally giving into the calls of sleep.

"Hey." The new kid greets me. His voice is rough and deep for someone my age.

"New to a hospital, huh?" I turn to him. My voice is hoarse and it's a little painful to speak. "Listen, please don't bother me. I have it hard enough and I haven't slept in 4 days, so please leave me alone."

"Tch." The kid rolls his eyes. "So much for trying to be nice."

"Wasn't a very good attempt." I state, then flip back over, closing my eyes.