kiribaku oneshots

🎂"Fun" Facts🎂

"Paris was the bad guy in that situation." I say. Denki and I have gotten into a very heated argument.

"No. No, it was anyone but Paris! Paris was just going by what Aphrodite said." Denki says, then takes a sip of his coffee.

"Okay, but Paris could've gone to Helen's husband, whatever the fuck his name was, and been like, 'Hey, Aphrodite sent me, she said your wife is mine,' and Helen's husband would've been like, 'Oh, shit, can't argue with a goddess,' and sent Helen with Paris." I refute.

"I-" He cuts himself off and thinks; something I didn't know he could do.

"You can't argue with on that. 'Cause, instead, Paris just waltzed into Helen's palace thing or whatever and was like, 'Yo, Helen, you my bitch now,' and Helen was like, 'Awe, shit, man, aight.'" I take a drink of my coffee. Denki bursts out laughing.

"Man, you talk to our professor like that and he'll lose his mind." He says.

"E-Excuse me..." A red headed guy grabs our attention. "You don't happen to know the differences between a psychopath and a sociopath?"

"Sorry, man. We're history majors." Denki says. "Why'd you need to know?"

"Oh, I'm a psychology major, specifically criminal psychology. I'm writing a paper on the behaviours of sociopaths and psychopaths. The difference between the two is kind of important to know."

"Well, my good ol' friend Katsuki, here, knows an actually concerning amount about serial killers." Denki gestures to me. "You two should stay and talk about that. I gotta get going."

I glare at Denki. "What are you doing?!" I ask him through gritted teeth.

"Getting you a date, bro! You stay up 'til 3 a.m., learning facts about serial killers and other obscure things." He whispers back. "You're lonely, admit it."

"I'm fine on my own!"

"Honestly, I'd rather your excuse for staying up late to be sex than some random, weird fact." Denki turns to the red head. "What's your name?"

"Oh, Kirishima." He smiles and tilts his head slightly. My mouth gapes open a little bit as I admire just how fucking cute that is. Honestly, this red head is just pretty cute in general.

Denki nudges me. "Dude. You're staring."

I turn to him, my face red. "Am not!"

"I have to get going. I'll see you two around!" Denki smiles. "Well, I'll see you in class tomorrow, Katsuki." He leaves.

"So, you know a lot about serial killers?" Kirishima asks me and smiles while sitting across from me.

"Uh," I swallow thickly. "According to Denki."

"I know a lot about the psychology of serial killers."

"Ummm..." I try and think of what to say. What type of conversation do you make with a psychology major? "Do you know that documentary on Netflix? 'Don't Fuck With Cats'?"

"Oh, yeah! I did a report on that! It was an interesting case, but the sucky part about it was that I had to watch all of the original videos, all the way through."

"That must've hurt."

"Yeah, especially as a cat lover. I have two cats and a dog. Don't tell anyone, but one of my cats lives with me in the dorms."

I smirk slightly. "Won't tell a soul."

"So, what were you and your friend arguing about?"

"Oh, we're having an ancient Greek mythology unit thing, because our professor really likes that stuff, and we started talking about who really started the Trojan War, and I said Paris, because he could've been rational and told Helen's husband that he was sent by a goddess and that his wife was his now, but he definitely did not do that- And I just realized you probably don't understand a word I'm saying."