Captured Hearts

Bleeding Heart

Caris

I can't believe Dean brought me back to the beach, like last time! I loved it here, I loved the sound of the waves crashing and the feel of sand on my bare feet. Most of all though I think I had fallen in love with the man who brought me to the beach. I almost said it, but I can't, I know he could never love me back and that hurts already.

I know if I said those three words he would then have to reject my heart and I can't handle that. Only its too late he had me sit on his face, fucked me hard and still I felt so loved, When he was carrying my limp body to the car, my aching body, feeling so stretched with sand in placed I do not enjoy.

I know I fucked up, I let myself tell him, and I know I shouldnt have, but being a little tipsy from wine and having just had the best orgasm high, my heart was open, and I couldnt hold it back.

Tomorrow I know he will break my heart, but it's also Mark's daughter's birthday the day after.

I woke up in my bed, but with no Dean next to me, the bed didn't smell of him either. I cried I knew that I had fucked up telling him what I had and so maybe he was done with me, I knew he could never love me and I knew this was just casual to him.

I sighed and got into the shower, maybe I can pretend it never happened, maybe I can at least stay and keep my job, I will be okay.

I will see Dean bring girls home like that whore, hear them fuck and make them both breakfast. I was never going to be more than his maid anyways.

I changed into my leggings, and tied my hair up. Only I noticed that I had started my period, I had not had one in so long because of the implant messing with my cycles. I started to cramp like my tummy was being stabbed, and a heat radiated through my nerves.

I felt nauseous and sick. What was worse was that I didn't have any pads, shit.

I went to the bathroom and piled some tissue into my knickers, it will have to do.

I didn't want to ask Dean, and I didn't need to do a food order today, so I can't expect Dean to be okay with the delivery charges just for one item.

I needed to clean, to work and take my mind off of this literal mess. I owe that much to Dean after I blew it.

I headed to the kitchen, which always seemed so bright and sunny compared to the rest of the house. After some water, an apple and paracetamol I looked for my note.

Dean hadn't left a list, no note and maybe it's just because he had plans later, or maybe it's because he has lost all interest in me, even in me working as his maid.

I hoover, mop, clean all the bathrooms and put laundry away as well as dust and polish before lunch time.

Dean had been out and I had no idea if he was going to ask me to leave. Tomorrow being julias party, what if he no longer wanted me to come. I was trying to hold my newly cracked heart together from falling apart into many more pieces.

I make a sandwich and a cup of tea and sit where we usually sit together at the breakfast bar.

I know my eyes are fighting back tears. Why let them escape though, my pain is unimportant, I should just be used to the fact my life was destined for pain and heartache.

Dean still wasn't back home by 5pm, unsure if I was supposed to make him dinner at 6pm or pack my bags.

I layed on the sofa, putting the TV on, not minding what was playing. I cuddled the cushion and tried to breathe.