Captured Hearts

Stir Crazy

Caris 

I opened my eyes, they felt heavy and sore, I saw Dean holding my hand, he was crying and asking me not to leave him. I told him that I wouldn't only when I heard my own voice I was shocked at how hoarse I sounded.

I tried to sit but the pain in my lower body hit like a sudden jolt of thunder, catching me off guard  Dean leaned me back telling me not to rush, to lay down. 

I then saw his tired eyes up close. Those beautiful blue eyes had become tired, dull and gray. Those very same eyes that kept me holding on to any bit of strength I had left to muster. Seeing Davide's dark eyes each day was the only reminder he was not Dean. They look so alike. Those eyes, Dean's beautiful blue ones, in my mind they kept me holding on. Longing for Dean.

He told me that he loved me and I felt myself overwhelmed with a mix of emotion, one being guilt. 

How could I have believed Davide when he said Dean never looked for me, he spoke his lies so confidently, how could I believe it though. My eyes scanned right to his left hand, no ring. It was truly all lies. My heart flooded with relief and I tried to apologize, Dean didn't understand why I was sorry.

I truly was, I tried to stay strong, I tried to keep my mind positive, but I didn't know Dean loved me, not for sure and now since hearing that he did, I feel awful believing the lies Davide spun. Dean held me, telling me he didn't care, I soon found sleep from his tender touch.

I woke and Dean was no longer beside me, I was alone and even though I knew it was reasonable that he may have just left to have a shower or get food. I couldn't stop my tears as I now felt vulnerable and alone. 

I still had so many insecurities, I knew I was never that pretty but now I was battered and bruised and more broken than before. I also felt so dirty, sweaty and my hair was flat and greasy, I felt awful. I couldn't even stand to attempt to get to the bathroom. 

I realized I had a catheter in, and I saw the stitches, I wasn't even sure what injuries I had. Not in full at least, I only remembered the things Davide did to me, or his goons. My eyes filled with tears at the memory of the pain, I needed answers.

I pushed my buzzer and a nice nurse came, "your husband said you were now awake, lovely to meet you dear" She said, and I heard the word husband and worried, I don't have a husband!

 I also realized Charlie was my next of kin. I hadn't had anyone in my life since Dad died other than Charlie. I was glad he was dead and that they had no one to call. 

"I saw my stitches and I uhm-" I started to ask. "Oh honey, after your husband had been here all day every day, and even slept on the pull out bed I assumed he told you when you woke up how significant your injuries were" she said.

 I shook my head, but I thought about how only Dean could be the man they think is my husband, and how he was by my side the whole time. Why was he gone though, why now. Why when I was awake. I had so many questions. 

"Well it appeared you had a broken pubic bone that caused internal bleeding, and led to organ damage, so when you were shot your body needed rest, you were put into a medically induced coma following the surgery to stop the bleeding. They had to remove a fallopian tube and an ovary, the other the doctor managed to save but scar tissue is great and this will also cause long term effects. This of course is all on top of the other injuries, two broken ribs, some 2nd degree burns and plenty of bruising." 

The lady took a deep breath before saying "You're such a strong girl" I smiled at her softly but I didn't feel strong I felt weak. She offered to make me a cup of tea and boy did it sound better than all the pain killers.