Captured Hearts

Done being alone

caris

I sit on this comfy cream coloured chair facing the king size bed that my fiance lay in. He looked awful; like he had lost some weight and he was twitching in his sleep like he was being terrorized in his dreams.

I think back to all the early mornings waking and working with Lisa to get ready. Mark had traveled to assist me and I trained until Lisa had a plan. She had found out that Davide had an underground fighting ring in a closed and abandoned car lot. We had Mark watch the place then when he saw Dean being dragged there he called us.

It was a long shot, they may never have planned to take him to the ring. I knew my man was a fighter and somehow I knew he would try to challenge them and I hoped that they would use this old abandoned place.

I was just lucky that my intuition hadn't failed me and my man was there!

When we received the call Lisa caused a distraction and managed to get two of Davide's men to help assist her. She claimed Davide had asked for his mothers help and she needed his best men to help her. It was clever and then me and Mark made a move, there were only two men in the ring with Dean and five watching. Mark shot one man who was wearing black and white and then the five watching legged it. I recognised them as men who Dean was trying to earn respect from. All the men there were Davide's lowlife scum followers. 

I shot the man who was fighting with Dean, it was merely a flesh wound unlike the other man who Mark shot. He had been laying in a pool of his blood lifeless for what seemed hours. In reality it all happened in seconds! 

Still I had never  shot a man, should I feel guilty. Why don't I ?

I held his face as his eyes fluttered shut and we brought him to a safe house after Lisa had called Elio. Elio instructed her of the location and said he would handle the men still left who followed Davide. 

I feared what Elio had planned for those men, but no matter what vile nefarious things he does to those men I have to agree that they deserve it! 

I look at Dean's pained face, I hold his hand and stroke back a strand of hair all in hopes of comforting him. He had now been here for three days and had been hooked up to a fluid bag and TPN machine to receive the nutrients he needs to stay alive while too weak to eat or drink. His stomach is too weak to even handle a tube. 

I felt him squeeze my hand so my eyes snapped to his eyes, eyes I had feared to not see again. He looks away from me, almost embarrassed but also like he had been defeated. I stroke his hair "you don't need to be ashamed or embarrassed honey" I softly say. His eyes flutter as tears slowly flow from his beautiful hazel eyes and past his dark lashes that lay on his cheek. He is vulnerable and I know he feels like he has lost, failed or like he himself is broken. 

I wanted nothing more than to hold him, tell him he is far from broken or damaged and is still every bit the man I love.

He pulled his hand away and shouted "Go Caris, Go" as his eyes became fueled by anger. 

I sighed "I won't go, I can't leave you. Dean I love you" I told him, with my voice remaining soft. He shook his head and let out a long breath. 

"It's not meant to be like this" he exclaimed but I was confused and asked "Like what honey, what do you mean" I knew he didn't mean the stuff that happened, it came with the job as a known risk after all.

"You! A woman saved me. I am supposed to keep you safe, not need you to come to my rescue. Don't you understand! It makes me weak! No man should be seen as a damsel in distress." He said practically screaming at me. He then proceeded to grab a pillow and scream into it.