The Simplicity in a Need

Prolouge

(A/n- I have put warning signs before the VERY mature scenes but it is all mature.)

The bed creaks as I shift to stand up. Already grabbing at my pants that lay on the ground beside me. A familiar feeling of relief trickles through me and the heavy feeling on my chest is completely gone. At least for now. I momentarily glance at the naked man who laid sprawled out on the bed sleeping soundly.

I simply shake my head as I slip on my clothes and grab my belongings. I'm already out the door by the time I bring a cigarette to my mouth and almost get mesmerized by the small flicker of fire from my lighter.

I breath in the nicotine deeply hoping to erase the last few hours of my life. It was always like this though. I wanted to delete half of my memories on this earth. I sigh and just take another deep huff enjoying the early fall breeze.

I walk down the bustling streets with a relaxed posture. That would certainly change by the end of the day. I don't look around to much as I'm walk down the street. I've never been one to take in the scenery. It's better if I don't see the beauty in things because then I don't have to acknowledge the ugly in me. I put the cigarette out on the bottom of my boot and throw it into a nearby trash can.

I shove my hands through my thick dirty blonde hair pushing it back as I glance at the sky. It seemed cloudy today. Maybe it would rain. I keep walking until I reach a bus stop. There I wait for what seems like hours but it was probably only about 45 minutes.

Getting on I lower myself into a seat and let out a breath of air. I couldn't wait to get home. I've always hated this part, but it was better than kicking them men out of my house. So I always went with them. Whether that be their house or a hotel. It was easier to leave in the mornings.

The bus rides doesn't last long. Maybe 25 minutes and I'm getting out quickly in the middle of absolute madness. The streets were bustling and I walk down the sidewalk avoiding people as I reach my apartment. I go in and immediately head for the comfort of a nice hot shower.

Once in my apartment I strip. Discarding my clothes and not looking in the mirror as I walk into the bathroom to warm up the water. A deep breath is released as I step into the scorching hot water. I scrub my skin at least three times before moving onto my short hair. This part of my life felt so easy.

I get out once I feel clean enough and wrap a towel around my waist as I use a smaller one to begin rubbing at my wet hair. I walk into my bedroom and head into my closet. Grabbing a pair of black basketball shorts and a long sleeved white hoodie.

I put the clothes on roughly after sliding on a pair of underwear and fall back into my bed. My untouched bed. I felt cleaner than I have in awhile as I lay awake staring at the ceiling. I needed to figure out what I was going to do for today.

I close my eyes at the thought and will the dirty thoughts to fade away. However I knew that wasn't going to happen. So I simply stay in bed and attempt to not think. Which was a lot easier said than done.