(Mentions of SEXUAL ABUSE and SUICIDE!!!!!! Blood and gore as well!!! If those subjects are triggering please be advised!!)
The moment he enters my mouth I go completely numb. My body enters another state where I don't have to actually think about the abuse I'm currently going through. I felt like a child again. Scared in my room. Trying so desperately to do good even though at one point I didn't even understand why I was forced to do such disgusting things. He's smells horrible. Like crusty ball sweat.
The guys always smelled so good. Peaches. That was the only thing on my mind was the scent of peaches as I try not to gag. I wanted to throw up but I knew better. One mistake meant another cut. I couldn't let that happen. I had to make him cum. Then this would all be over. That's all I have to do.
"That's right whore. Suck it good, you know it's a shame that little cutie left. I bet he's pretty decent at-," he screams so loud as I chomp on his dick. So hard that he stumbles and fall to the ground. He holds himself and rolls around in pain. My body is in auto pilot as I reach for the gun. However I don't even consider shooting it. I climb onto on Jeremy and shove the barrel of the gun down his throat so hard. Then I pull it out and go back in. He starts trying to fight back yelling and coughing. However I just continue to fuck him in the mouth with the barrel of the gun.
"Don't bite or I'll cut you Jeremy. You know the rules. Don't bite, take it like a good boy. Like a good little whore," I mumble like a crazy person. He punches me in the kidney and I fall to the side but I don't stop. No instead I go harder. So hard in-fact that at one point blood spurts out his mouth. Even then I don't stop. Even when he stops moving. Even when his eyes go lifeless. I continue to roughly fuck his mouth with the gun.
I don't even stop when the door bangs open and people rush in. Or when a loud shocked gasp is heard. I just continue to mumble and shove the gun down his throat.
"Aron?" I don't stop when I hear the voice. I vaguely recognize it as Dean but the image of his disappointment flutters across my mind and I just become harsher. Even though my arm is beginning to cramp, "Aron, he's dead. You can stop."
Then I stop. I look down at the man who was very clearly dead and freeze. He's dead. He was no longer breathing. Yet I was still so afraid. I still felt the need to please him. I could still feel the pressure of a knife. I shake my head violently. That's not possible. He couldn't hurt me anymore. I shouldn't be afraid. There's no way he has control of me even in the afterlife.
I look around crazily until I spot the knife he had dropped. I scurry for it frantically and go back to Jeremy. Where I begin completely chopping up his stomach. Until guys spill out and I'm covered in blood but the more I continue the more my breathing becomes rugged. The more anxiety builds up. This man truly broke me. He owns me even after death.
I stand up when he's completely torn apart shaking violently. I grip at my chest and rush to my bathroom not looking at any of the men who stood in my living room. I could vaguely hear Dean tell Cedric to lock the door. But I shut and lock the bathroom door and strip quickly. I needed to be clean of him. That's all I had to do right? Wipe the rest of him away. Then I'll truly be free. I turn the water all the way up to just hot water and turn the shower on.
I hurry in just as the first knock sounds on the bathroom door. I ignore it and begin roughly scrubbing every inch of my body. However even after 10 minutes and constant banging. There's no change in my mood. I'm still deathly afraid. I grab my toothbrush and begin absolutely going crazy of my teeth. Causing my gums to bleed. However I still felt the need to make him cum. Why didn't I make him cum first. I'll always be afraid. I'll always be under his control. Why did I think I'd become normal if he was dead. He already ruined me.
I slid down the wall in the bathtub and rest my head in my hands crying. I was so weak and I'd always be nothing but a dirty whore. I'll never have a normal life.
The only thing that could fix me is to die. That's what I needed to do. Is just die. I'm not sure why I've stayed alive for so long anyway. I begin breathing harshly again. My chest hurts so bad and I feel like I'm about to pass out. Maybe having another heart attack wouldn't be so bad. I could just die.
"Aron!" I hear Cedric scream and remember how angry he had been at me. I don't deserve them. They are to good for me. I'm not worth anything. Dying is definitely what I'm meant for. I was raised in hell. Why did I think I could escape and be with them. I grip at my chest as I start gasping for breath. Tears stream down my cheeks and I begin seeing black dots in the edges of my vision.
"Fuck this shit," I feel as though the words around me is getting farther away as a hear a far away bang. Then I curl but as intense pain enters throughout me starting at my chest. I can't breath and my crying just becomes worst as even though I'm ready to die my body struggles to hang on to this horrible life.
This was it. This was the end of me. The good memories of the guys filter through my mind as another bang is heard from far away, "I'm sorry........"
ŞİMDİ OKUDUĞUN
The Simplicity in a Need
Romantizm(Book 1 in the 'Need Series') Aron's past ruined him. Turned his anxiety into his worst night mare and kept his fear alive every day. People call him a sex addict. Others say he's obsessed. No one knows that's it's a physical need. If he doesn't gi...
