I softly push past Matt and try to ignore the heartbroken expression his face as i walk past him trying to keep calm. My heart beats wildly and I can hardly breath. I dont get far as Cedric stands in front of with a glare.
"I'm sick of this shit, we want you so your ours, I know you feel at least something for us," Cedric grumbles out heartedly. My eyes widen slightly and I narrow my eyes.
"I really dont think you understand," I say through gritted teeth, "my last boyfriend loved sex. He loved that I would give him blow jobs everyday. Eventually he got to the point though where he wanted to test my loyalty. Would I cheat if I didnt get what I wanted from him? I lasted 24 hours before I attacked his brother! I mean it when i say I'm a whore! There will get a point where you guys will want that same thing! Especially you Cedric. The confirmation that I'll never cheat but I will. I can't control it. Fear drives me to insanity!"
Cedrics face slowly gets softer as I rant and he sighs, "I know Aron. We all know what you'd do if we didn't help you, and we still want you. I still want you, even with that knowledge. We wont ever test your ability to not cheat because we understand just how bad your problem is and we'd never want you to feel like that. If you ever, ever needed it, even if the middle of a store. I'll fucking drop my pants and let you suck me off."
Tears prick at my eyes as i listen to his words. I grip at my chest and can't seem to look away. I breath in deeply. I feel Matts arms wrap around my back and I can feel a soft, sweet kiss on the back of my neck. I tremble from all the overwhelming emotions I'm feeling.
"You want to be with me even with the knowledge that I could possible cheat on you at any moment?" I ask in a vulnerable tone and I frown tone at the floor.
"Yes, we understand your need Aron and we accept your pain, we don't see it like a burden. More like a responsibility. We need to be there for you so you never have to cheat because we know you wont want to," Matt says right into my ear and for some reason those words resonate with me. My eyes widen and I slump in relief. It was wrong to feel so relieved by those words but they were exactly what I needed. To know someone understood that it hurt me to do things i can't control. To know someone will do everything they can to keep me from doing it. I want that so badly. Protection from myself.
"I-,' I stammer and clear my throat, "am I-? Am I really allowed to want that?"
I don't really address any of them and just look up at the ceiling feeling absolutely broken. Why was i so shattered?
"Come with me," Cedric says firmly waving me to follow him as he leaves the kitchen. I open my mouth to question but Matt softly pushes me from behind and I trail after quietly with Matt and Dean behind me.
We go all the way to their bedroom and I stop juat inside the door. Cedric goes into their closet and Matt follows them. Dean stands beside me. He grabs my hand softly and brings it up to his lips, "I have a hard time expressing my feelings. But I really care about you. As much as everyone else in this house. The thought of you being without us and put in a position where youre forced to cheat doesn't anger me. It makes me upset. I dont want you to go through."
New tears trail diwn my face at his words. Just the thought that they understand is going through my mind as he brings me into a hug. I can't help a sob from escaping.
"You're not alone anymore honey," he says in a whisper and squeezes me tightly. I sniffle trying to calm down. Was i really considering this? Ruining this beautiful relationship with my tainted self.
"Okay, do you like this?" Cedric says as he walks out of the closet holding up a pair of black ripped jeans and a big t-shirt. I frown in confusion as he stares at me awaiting an answer. I nod my head unsurely. He nods and tosses the clothes at me before pointing across thw hall to the bathroom door, "get dressed. You guys too."
He shooed me out the door before telling Matt and Dean to find clothes as well. I go into the bathroom not really understanding but I get dressed as slowly as I can. I avoid the mirror and try to calm my breathing. I needed to relax. Once done I realize the shirt is actually really big. I tuck it in the front and walk out of the bathroom.
Just as their bedroom door opens and Matt walks out now dressed in soft blue jeans and my white hoodie with a picture of a heart. The one Dean took when he first came to my house. Matt grins at me cutely. And I attempt to smile back.
Dean comes up from behind him and looks me up and down. I look down embarrassed. Hes wearing his normal color of black but is instead wearing a cut off shirt and if carrying a thick leather jacket.
"Is that my shirt? Did Cedric intend to make him look swallowed?" Dean asks raising a brow, "is it cute though."
I blush as he walks by us and down the hall stopping at Ginnas door and knocking, "you do look good Aron."
I turn my attention back to Matt and smile, "as do you Princess."
His whole face beams at me, "theres my Ronny!"
He jumps into my arms and I hold him as he wraps his legs around my waist koala style. I let out a breathy laugh. Matt is absolutely adorable.
"Alright lets go," I look at their bedroom door to see Cedric still with an intense air around him. I frown at the unusual seriousness around him. I look to see hes wearing a long sleeved grey shirt and a white t-shirt over it that has grey writing on it. His pants are a washed out black. He looked good, like always.
"Um go where?" I ask awkwardly. I slowly set Matt down and grip at my chest again.
He looks at me with those intense eyes scaring me. My breathing catches on nothing as I await his answer anxiously. When he finally opens his mouth his eyes soften slightly, "on a date."
YOU ARE READING
The Simplicity in a Need
Romance(Book 1 in the 'Need Series') Aron's past ruined him. Turned his anxiety into his worst night mare and kept his fear alive every day. People call him a sex addict. Others say he's obsessed. No one knows that's it's a physical need. If he doesn't gi...
