Chapter 47

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Trigger Warning!!!!!!!
(Mentions of Rape and Sexual abuse! As well as Mentions of suicide and self-harm. If that is upsetting or triggering for you. Then please be advised that those subjects are in the following chapters.)

Jeremy is still for just a second as he glances at the gun and just as he goes to flip it off I grip the wrist that holds it and twist it back until he cries out and drops the gun. Matt shoves his elbow back into him and he groans loudly holding his side.

Matt runs away from him and I kick the gun farther away. Jeremy rushes at me wildly. I'm taken aback and he lands a harsh hit in my stomach. I stumble back and Matt gasps. I hear him start to move forward and shout.

"No! Get the fuck out of here Matt. I'm not letting this dirty motherfucker lay another hand on you! Go and find the others," I yell and stand up just as Jeremy reaches into his pocket familiarly. It causes a jolt of intense fear to consume me and I stumble back.

"But you-" I cut him off immediately.

"Go!" I scream and something in my voice or maybe he was legitimately scared but he runs out of the room. In an instant the fear that was overtaken by the anger of him hurting Matt is back on top.

My breathing comes out in short harsh pants, "aww how sweet. Protect your little boy toy and take the punishment, huh? It's almost sickening how cute it is."

He lifts the army knife up and twirls it between his fingers mockingly. I step back feeling as though I was gonna faint. Maybe telling Matt to leave was a mistake. His presence gave me strength. The strength to protect him. I had no desire to save myself.

My eyes narrow and I glance off to the side. The normal human instincts to save oneself. The self preservation to do anything it takes to live. Those are things I just don't have. I was weak. I was everything he ever told me I was.

"I bet that little cutie doesn't even like you. Why would he want to? Your nothing but a whore!" He must have sensed my lose of confidence because his seems to boost. He grins at me and steps closer.

However I remember something Matt told. He's obsessed with me. Even if he did think I was a whore. I know for a fact that he wants me. So for the first time ever the words that come from my horrid uncle don't effect me.

He swings his arm with the knife towards me suddenly and violently. I step back and end up falling to the floor in an attempt to put more distance between us. I look up at him and suddenly I was a child again. Looking up into the eyes of the man who ruined me. Just hoping that one day he wouldn't come home.

An instinct that disgusts me causes me to fumble onto my knees. My hands gripping them as I slouch forward trying to appear smaller. The sense of approval from him can be sensed across the whole room.

His smile is so wide as he chuckles, "you still don't see Aron? You're mine. Even now you can't help but want to please me. I own you."

My teeth grit and my eyes squeeze so tight I can feel a blood vessel pop. He was right. I'm so weak. He held an iron grip on me that I can't shake. I can not escape him.

"I've always loved how you looked on your knees. So ready to please me, so innocent. The fear on your face excited me more than anything in my entire life. You should feel honored, whore," he mumbles as he walks around me waving his knife around without any care. My stomach clenches in anticipation. I really am always gonna be shackled to this man.

Then I spot the gun under my coffee table. Everything clicked in place. If I wanted to be freed. If I didn't want to live in fear. All I had to do was kill him. Then I could be normal. I wouldn't be so afraid all the time. He would never have control over me again.

I can't move though. As he steps in front of me the crushing fear holds me stock still. The familiar position causes me to almost puke.

"You're a little old now," he whispers menacingly but smirks widely, "but you could definitely get me off as long as you keep that look on your face."

In an instant he frees himself from the ugly khakis he always wear and is presented in front of me. My mouth goes dry and tears flow freely down my cheeks.

The sad part is I know I'm stupid. I would never be in this position if I had stayed with Dean and the others. He would have never let this happen to me. Those guys made my condition, my need, feel like a want. I let my fear consume me and ruin everything.

I get closer to him and can't stop the feeling of disappointment in myself. I really was a waste of space. Why have I held on for so long? When I had no one to keep me here? I'm disgusting. Revolting. An absolute waste of space. I want to kill myself.

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(A/n: I really appreciate all your support on this story. Im sorry I haven't posted in awhile but I guess I'm never really in a good state of mind. I have not been through what Aron has but his thoughts are very, and I mean very similar to my own. I knew what these chapters were going to be like and just couldn't write them. When I write words pour out of me. Most of my main characters are some kind of embodiment of myself. It's like a punch to the gut when I reread a chapter and get sucked into Aron's pain. Because I share it. Anyway sorry for the annoying rant.
Thank you all so much for reading!!! I'll try to be more regular and post at least every other day!💙💙

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