The Simplicity in a Need

Chapter 21

We've just been talking and chatting for about two hours now. Matt sat comfortably in Deans lap who had his arms wrapped tightly around his hips and his head resting on his Matt shoulder. They looked absolutely adorable.

Cedric had made himself comfortable about 30 minutes as well. Laying down on the couch with his head in my lap. Which I also found pretty endearing.

Suddenly a phone rings out and Cedric slowly grabs his phone with a groan. He looks at it for a second before answering it, "what?"

It's quiet for a minute until he replies with, "we'll figure it out Leo, this isn't a charity event."

Matt laughs loudly at cedrics words and shakes his head. Dean grumbles into Matt's neck and I had no clue what they were talking about.

"Listen, tell Bri what happened, it's not my job to babysit you," he says groaning and reaching up with his right arm and begins playing with my long hair, "you'll get the bud, when you've got the money man. It's always been like that."

"What the hell is he trying to pull?" Dean growls out gripping onto Matt tighter.

Cedric just shakes his head, "call me when you got cash."

He hangs up quickly and sighs before sitting up and rubbing his head. I don't even know what I'm doing when I grab his shoulder and pull him back down. He looks up at me with surprise and I begin rubbing his head softly.

"What happened?" Matt asks with a smile on his face as he stares at us.

Cedric reaches up again as I give him a massage and begins playing with the ends of my hair again, "he apparently lost what they bought yesterday and he wants more but they don't got the money."

Dean grumbles with an eye roll and Matt just shakes his head with an amused expression before saying, "tough luck."

"I'm bored," Cedric says turning to his side so his face is now pressed into my stomach. I shake with nervousness at the action.

"What do we usually do for fun?" Matt says with a thoughtful expression. Dean chuckles.

"Have sex," he says looking at me directly and I cough loudly.

"I-I could leave," I say but Dean shakes his head.

"Or you could join?" He says with a hungry gaze.

I stumble over my words nervously, "oh uh, no I think I'd rather leave."

In my stomach I feel the vibrations of Cedrics words, "are we not up to standard?"

I blank out at that. He was referring to the fact that I have sex a lot. That I'm a whore. Bile rides in my throat and it almost feels like someone stomps on my chest. Tears threaten to spill and I immediately start shaking. Cedric immediately feels the change and looks up at me.

His eyes widen and he sits up facing me quickly, "what's wrong?"

I shove my hair out of my face almost angrily trying not to cry, "nothing, I know I'm a whore."

His eyes narrow in confusion and he tries to scoot closer to me but I just flinch back. It had been involuntary but his face immediately scrunches up into pain.

"You're not a whore," he says leaning back, "I didn't know talking about sex was a trigger."

"It's not, I know I've been with a lot of people but there is no standards," I say quietly trying to breath. I grab at my chest trying to alleviate the pain and his eyes widen.

"I- I didn't mean like that, I meant like do you not like us?" He says with a confused and pained expression. Suddenly arms are wrapped around me from behind and I look over to see both Dean and Matt gone from their seats.

I look down at the arms and see that it's Matt. He then jumps over the couch and squeezes into the small space in between me and the arm rest. He grabs my arm and puts it over him before snuggling into my side. Cedric looks at me with pain in his eyes and I sigh.

I hold out my hand and he grabs it immediately. All of a sudden Dean walks back into the room with two bags of what looks like joints and tugs Cedric up while handing him the bag. He then sits beside me and pulls Cedric down on him. I wondered if I should get up and let them all cuddle but when he wraps his arms around my neck and pulls me against him I can't even think of moving.

"Let's talk," dean says in a demanding voice. Cedric pulls out one of the little joints and hands it to Matt who takes it and lights it immediately. He then tentatively tries to pass me one and I take it slowly.

"What's this," I ask with a shaky breath. Dean gives me a concerned look.

"It's tobacco mixed with weed," Matt says into my chest and I look at the little thing in amazement. But then I just sigh and look down sadly.

"Let's all say something personal again, we're all human," Dean says in a more gentle voice, "we just need to all see that."

Matt mumbles against my chest and starts talking first, "my mother used to sell my body to perverted old ladies."

I tense at that. Sold him? For sex? How old had he been? How could anyone do that to a child. I look down at him to see he has a sad smile on his face.

"I don't have the best relationship with sex but it's a lot better know," he says smiling at me. I try to smile back but can only imagine a small Matt being forced to do things he didn't want to do.

"I- my mom used to cheat on my dad, she'd always make me watch. Tell me that know one was loyal and I needed to learn that young," Cedric says gripping the end of my baggy shirt sleeve. He looks at me with hopeful eyes. I sigh and interlock my fingers with his. He smiles at me. I now know why he gets so tense when the word cheating is brought up. I feel bad that I had kept accusing them of it.

"I beat my dad to death after he threw my mom down the stairs. Her neck had been broken, he tried to go and touch my sister and I snapped," Dean says soothingly running his hands through my hair, "I couldn't stop even after he was dead. I beat his face in until it his skull gave out and I was covered in blood. My sister was only about 10 at the time was wailing and the neighbors called the cops. I didn't get time but I had anger management sessions for at least three years after that."

I look at him in shock. It wasn't hard to picture him punching anyone's skull in but it just seemed so unreal as he stroked my hair carefully and held Cedric close. Touched his sister? No wonder she seemed to have given up that night. She was used to it. A burning rage goes through me at all their parents. I hated pedophiles more than anything and I already knew what I was going to say.

"My father was a serial rapist," Matt gasps into my side and Cedric gives me an astonished look. Dean nudges me with a heated look, "he never touched me, there was someone else who had claimed that role but he would kidnap children. I had no idea until I was 17 and I found a dead child in my basement."

I shudder at the revolting images. It's was horrible that anyone would have to go through those things, "there were also two other children down there. Two little girls. They were shaking and clinging to each other. I had never thought that they were being cruel to anyone but me. I was obviously wrong. I killed him. I stabbed him over 100 times."

"Oh my god, I- that is horrible," Matt says with a hand over his mouth.

"Is-," Cedric clears is throat, "is that why you went to jail?"

I shake my head in answer, "no I would've gotten a lot longer if I was sentenced with murder. I got a few anger management classes as well though because of the overkill. He had apparently raped and murdered 42 other children."

I shiver at the thought. Was I lucky that he never touched me? Probably. However I was stuck with someone else being my tormentor in that house. Dean runs my shoulder comfortingly and kisses the top of my head.

"See we're all just human, with human emotions," he says softly in his deep grumbly voice, "there's no need for fighting. We'll talk it out like this."