The Simplicity in a Need

Chapter 23

I found that I really enjoyed spending time with these guys. They all seemed very unapproachable just a few days ago and now I could see that they were all really kind.

I still couldn't believe they I had only met them 4 days ago. They treated me like we've been friends for years and I never felt excluded. Which made me like their company that much more.

Luckily I've been able to enjoy the last few hours that we've spent talking about random things. Especially since my stupid anxiety had been sated by Cedric. Who after a few minutes went back to smiling cheekily just like before or small argument.

Currently we were all sprawled out on the couch. I don't exactly know how but Dean had taken over my spot on the left most seat on the couch with Matt comfortably sitting on him with his back flush against his left side and the arm rest. I had ended up pushed down with my head in both Dean and Matt's lap.

Cedric was sitting crossed legged with my legs on top of him. He had taken to rubbing my legs almost absentmindedly and I was secretly really enjoying it. Deans right arm was splayed out on my chest and Matt's fingers were gliding through my hair. I honestly felt like I was in heaven. These three men have shown me more good attention than I've ever received in my life. It made me feel amazing.

"So I told the guy that he should just shove it up his ass," I laugh at Cedric as he tells a story about some drug deal that had gone bad. They have been sharing stories this whole time and I wondered how they all met. Was it to personal to ask that? How does someone end up in a three way relationship? "What kind of trouble did you get into in your high school years?"

I froze slightly and they all immediately feel it. I try to relax and shrug my shoulders, "I skipped most days."

High school had been a blur for me. I passed all my classes but I could hardly ever go because of how much pain I was in. I shiver slightly and feel deans hand clench on my chest.

"Oh," Cedric says before nodding his head and giving my knee a squeeze, "I didn't go."

I look at him in shock, "didn't go?"

He shrugged and looked away, "I'm technically a wanted man, for arson. I ran, so I didn't go."

"You were wanted for Arson at 15?" I say with shocked eyes. I knew he was a pyromaniac but I never imagined anything like that.

He gives me a quick glance before avoiding eye contact once more, "14 actually."

The subject was obviously very touchy for him so I decide to drop it, "Ahh okay, how'd you all meet?"

Cedrics lips twitch slightly and he finally looks at me with a grateful expression, "we didn't all meet at the same time."

My eyes widen at that. They hadn't? I don't know why that surprises me but I guess I just assumed that they had, "oh then how did it all happen?"

I was honestly genuinely curious. I wanted to know how their relationship worked so well. They were so perfect for each other and I thought they were so cute together.

"Dean saved me when I was 19, beat the shit out of some gang members for me, I became an annoying pest after that and followed him home where he fed me. I couldn't help but fall in love with such a big teddy bear," Cedric says with a soft smile as if remembering.

Dean chuckles softly and I look at him to see him smiling, "Cedric was like an angry little puppy when I found him. But I couldn't let him be. I'm glad I beat the shit out of those jerks."

I smiled at both of them. They were so adorable when it to each other. I then glance at Matt to see him also smiling at the two of them, "what about you Matt?"

He looks down at me and for a minute his smile vanishes but then it's right back in place. He isn't the one who speaks though.

"When met him two years later. He was only 16 when me and Dean met so thankfully we did meet when he was 18 or we never would have gotten together," Cedric says laughing. He gives Matt a almost reassuring smile and he sighs.

"They saved me on the night I was planning on committing suicide," Matt mumbles in embarrassment. My body stiffens and flashbacks of my own suicide attempts filter through my head. How could anyone have made sweet little Matt feel the need to end his life?

I grab his hand that was just laying tangled in my hair and squeeze, "one day will tell each other our reasons why, huh?"

Matt eyes widen in almost shock at the revelation that I had tried at one point as well and nods his head ferociously. Wiping away a stray tear.

"I had been really curious how three people ended up together. You guys are so perfect together," I say in a smile. Cedric grips my ankles before returning the smile forcefully.

"We'd like to make it four," Dean says in his deep rumbly voice and I shiver. Did he mean me? There's no way they actually wanted me to be a part of their relationship. Just because they say they like me doesn't mean they actually want me in that way. I'm to damaged and just like my past failed boyfriends they will eventually get sick of helping me.

"Oh?" I respond with a slight crack in my voice.

"Yes, you," Cedric says with a sad sigh.

I look at him with a hitched breath. I sit up awkwardly and shake my head, "you don't want to be with me, you don't want the responsibility of what I need."

Cedric glares at me as I swing my feet off his lap and stand up, "who are you to decide that!"

I glare back. I hated that we were fighting again but what I was saying is true, "I would need it every day! And that's if something else doesn't fuck me up and make me need it sooner! What happens when you don't want to do it and I have to cheat!"

"There will be three of us! I can guarantee at least one of us will be begging you for a blow job at least once a day!" He responds and I just squeeze my eyes shut tight before tears can burst out. I hold my chest as my heart starts pounding erratically. I needed to calm down.

"Never mind," I say with my eyes still screwed shut, "I'm going home."

I finally open my eyes breathlessly to see Cedrics face fall. He almost seemed to be the one about to cry now.

"Wa-wait, I- I'm sorry," he says grabbing my wrist that lay limp at my side, "I just wish you wouldn't think like that. It hurts that you don't even except are feelings."

My mouth gapes open at his vulnerability and I breath in, "I- I really hate myself. I don't want to ruin your relationship. I do like you but I just don't want to taint something I find so amazing."

Cedrics eyes immediately go frustrated again, "you should let us decide what we want for for relationship."

By now Dean and Matt are standing as well. Dean grabs me and pulls me face first into his chest, "we are grown enough to know what we want. I'll take you home but you better text us. Matt will go crazy."

I swallow the lump in my throat and nod as I look at Matt who's smiling at me innocently. Crazy? I don't let my mind wander to much though as Cedric stands up and throws his arms around me. He leans close to my ear and whispers, "we're all fucked up baby and we're all a little crazy. We won't let you get away from us."

He backs away from me with an almost sinister smile. Dean the pushes us towards the door. I notice Matt shrug off his plaid shirt and toss on my hoodie and snuggling his face in it. When he catches me staring at him he blushes like crazy.

"Let's get you safely home, it's already almost 10," Dean says with a small smile.

As we all walk out and to Deans big Jeep I can't help but wonder if I could really let myself be with these wonderful guys. I definitely wasn't worthy of them but could I really be selfish enough?