In Sign Language, I Hear You ( Transmigrated as Deaf and Muted )

Sign Thirty ( End of Season 1)

Recently memories of her past life as Lara come to her mind. Start from her childhood time, to the time where she is still a teenager, or to the very last years of her life. The memories could be so random that sometimes feels so melancholic, but mostly all of them are terrifying.

"... You know, ,ma'am. Life is something that you can not control, you know?" he said, with his naïve expression that always annoys Lara back then. " Even with your power and money, only that thing is something you can not control."

He who always tried to stay with her, somehow got to the situation when she ended up leaving him be near her. " Don't talk, you are still a child." and she would like to ignore him as she already knew she could not win against his stubbornness.

" I am just saying as you seem so confident about yourself."

and Lara frowned at him, " You dare to talk to me like that?" and it was not anger, it was pure confusion as she was somehow questioning why he has the courage.

and he lifted his shoulders, " Well you always do, so-" he said while smiling. " ... I just want you to know that there is something that you could not get in this world. This world is beautiful, and that is also uncontrollable. If both of them are then uncontrollable, why not choose the one that could make you happy?" and he pointed to the big window inside her elegant office that show a beautiful purple-ish color with a bright orange of the sun that dyed the scenery of the city, " ... even now, the sky is very beautiful."

and she frowned while holding her hands tight because of the memory. ' It is indeed, beautiful.' while looking at the sky above her that shows a very bright blue color. Yet, her heart felt so heavy, and she could not enjoy the scenery as she usually does.

' ... you always see the beauty of the world, despite how it brings you a tragedy.' because even after long times, from the times he is gone and the first time Lara met him, he always put his sweetest smile as he got nothing but happiness inside his life. ' You always talking about your wife and your child, because they are all important for you.'

Yet, she will mock him every time he did that. Saying of his feeling was nonsense because she believed no one could give such happiness to anyone in this world.

" She is always with me. She is a good wife and mother." but she will ignore him with his ridiculously smile. " I like to hug her, you know. She gives her the comfort I could not get from anyone."

and ironically, she, who has once despised those words finds herself in the same situation.

'... Yes, I know, now.'

' I could see it too.'

and every time she realizes even further about it, her heart is aching so much. To the point, she will hold her head that gives her so much pain she could not bear. The guilty feeling to feel the comfort in somebody is overwhelming her, as she is now hard to breathe.

'... while I ruined your life.'

so how come Lara let herself gets the happiness while she was the one who made them never felt it again?

' I am so sorry.'

' I am so sorry.'

and even she keeps saying that, the pain still has not yet stopped.

"... Sister... please.." and even now in front of her, her purpose of life holding her hands with her tears streaming down in her cheeks- irisha has no power to bring herself to comfort Arisha anymore. It just becomes more painful whenever she looks at the innocent eyes that sincerely crying for her.